Haunting Memories
by Zeldagirl91
Summary: Okay, so, imagine Link going on crazier adventures than ever, situations he'd never dream of getting into, and...what's this? Zelda's past comes back to haunt her? How? And for heaven's sake will someone please give Link a brain!
1. Squirrels and Arguements

Link and Navi were on their way to Hyrule to visit Zelda when it began to rain...drastically.

"How'd that happen so fast? The gray clouds weren't even here a couple minutes ago." Link said while holding the Ocarina of Time in his hands.

"Link, you played the Song of Storms... of COURSE it's going to start raining you idiot!" Navi yelled, shaking her head in disappointment.

"Well, when I play the Song of Storms in Lon Lon Ranch, it never rains. How come it only rains when I play the song in Kakariko Village?" Link asked, completely dumbfounded.

Navi sighed. "That' just the way Nintendo made it Link. SO STOP ASKING STUPID QUESTIONS!" Navi had to gasp for air after finishing her statement.

"Well, I don't think you're the one with the Master Sword, now are you Navi?" Link grinned menacingly.

Navi bobbed up and down. "I don't CARE if you have the Master Sword or not, either way you're STILL the biggest moron the world has ever seen!"

"In that case... maybe I should just leave you here to in your FAVORITE village!" Link said happily, his eyes glittering with the idea.

"What's that supposed to mean? I HATE this village! Everyone that lives here is an IDIOT!" Navi huffed for a couple minutes before Link spoke up.

"Well, then say you're sorry." Link crossed his arms and stared at the huffing ball of light that was straight across from his face.

He saw the ball of yellowish light slowly change colors. At first, it just stopped there, not moving, not even _breathing._ However, in a matter of seconds, the ball of light went from yellowish, to light blue, to green, to a lavender color, then finally to pink. As a few more seconds passed, the pretty pink that was just glowing turned into a fiery red from which came the echoes that began filling all of Kakariko Village.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN APOLOGIZE!" Navi yelled at the top of her little lungs, which, obviously was very underestimated by Link. He gulped.

"I HAVE PUT UP WITH YOUR IDIOCY, STUPIDITY, RETARDEDNESS, THICKNESS, SLOW PACE, AND FOR WHAT? TO TELL YOU I'M SORRY? I DON'T THINK SO!" Navi's fiery red glow simmered down back the way it came from pink, to lavender, to green, to blue, and finally, to the yellow glow she once had.

After returning to her normal state, Navi looked up to see a deathly pale Link, shivering from the demo of hell he just got. She started laughing suddenly. Link just stared at her, color returning to his face.

"What the hell is so funny?" Link asked annoyed and confused because he didn't see any humor in this at all.

"Your face. You looked as if you just went through hell." Navi replied, trying _very _hard not to laugh so loudly.

"I think you missed it. I DID go through hell you stupid fairy." Link spat back at her coldly. "Why were you so mad at me?"

Navi started laughing even harder, which made one of the workers (A/N: think the running workers in Kakariko Village from Ocarina of Time) stop next to the moving bubble of light and say, "Is that a fairy? If it is, I seriously hope it doesn't die laughing. Oh kid, you might wanna get some water or something, you look like you've just seen a ghost." with that, the worker wiped some sweat from his forehead and ran off.

A vain suddenly popped out of Link's forehead as he drew the Master Sword from his side by it's hilt. He called out to the worker. "Hey, come back here a sec, I need to ask you something."

Link smiled evilly as the worker drew closer. Navi then tried to regain control of her laughter, but to no avail. Just as the worker stopped in front of Link, a flying squirrel came out of nowhere, and was about to land head-first into Link's hat.

The worker was catching his breath as he stopped. He rested his hands on his knees and began to pant. "Yeah kid? Whadd'ya want? I'm pretty busy you know."

Link looked at the guy disdainfully. "What are you busy doing? EATING? UGH. How much do you weigh?" Link shook his head in disappointment. "Anyway, do you enjoy life?" Link asked, pure innocence in his voice.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I? I mean, sure, I was about to get married a couple years back, but, I left my fiance in the middle of the ceremony 'cause I was hungry. I went to my cousin's house to eat, and, I found the most beautiful thing lying on the table there...immaculately." the worker said, closing his eyes, please with the memory.

Link looked at this guy like he could've sworn he was insane. _Who the heck leaves their fiance in the middle of their wedding because they're hungry? And what the hell does immaculily mean? Ugh...I hate big words._

"Ok... what was on the table? Some kind of topless dancer or something?" Link asked, wondering what the heck was so beautiful that this guy closed his yes when he remembered. Unfortunately for Link, he couldn't think about that much since Navi was bouncing up and down on his head, smacking it to the best of her ability to teach him not to be so rude.

"Link! How could you ask that? Are you insane?" Navi managed to spit out, eve though Link had grabbed her chibi wings effortlessly by the fifth time she bounced on his head.

The worker waved his hand nonchalantly. "It's alright, it's just... she was so beautiful..."

"So it _was _a topless dancer, wasn't it?" Link asked, a smirk appearing at the edge of his lips. Moments later received quite a large bump on his head from his favorite fairy, Navi.

"Link! Will you PLEASE shut up!" Navi half asked, half yelled into Link's ear as she lowered herself to sit on his shoulder.

"No... it wasn't a topless dancer... even better. It was a beautiful salomi, cheese, and ham sandwich." the worker closed his eyes once more, and, to Navi and Link's disgust, he started drooling.

"Ewww..."Navi muttered into Link's ear.

"Yeah I know." he replied back, whispering so that only Navi could hear, even though the worker was in some kind of sick daze, which probably prevented him from hearing anyway.

"All right then!" Link said, remembering why he was even talking to the guy. "Now it's time for me to kill you!" he grinned broadly, happy he could take his anger out on someone annoying _and _disgusting.

"WHAT? IS THAT WHY YOU WANTED TO TALK TO ME? YOU DEMENTED CHILD!" the man began to run as Link pulled his sword out quickly.

Link was about to slice the man's head off while his 'shoulder angels' were arguing. Not only were they having their little argument which in itself was already bad enough for Link, but the worker took off and Link had to start running with his 'shoulder angels' bickering.

"Link! You would never do that! Just cause you were mad at the stupid fairy doesn't mean you should kill an innocent man!" Link's right (good) shoulder angel said indignantly.

"Don't listen to him Link! You know you have to kill this guy! He was probably in league with Ganon! And you do remember that Ganon wanted to kill Zelda right?" the left (evil) shoulder angel said convincingly.

"Did it ever occur to you that I'm the good angel and I'm on the **right **side? Eh?" the right shoulder angel asked coldly.

"Why I ought to rip your little throat off and-" but before the evil shoulder angel could finish his statement, the "good" angel tackled him.

Both of the little angels were having their little war on Link's shoulders while Link was still chasing the worker. Finally, after about ten more minutes of this, the worker stopped in his tracks to take a breath, unable to run around the small village any longer.

"Finally! It's about time you stopped running you stupid baka!" Link yelled as he raised his sword above his head.

Just then, Navi caught up to Link wide-eyed. "Link, why? You would never do this! Why would you kill an innocent man!" Navi asked in disbelief. "I mean, I know he just helped along with your anger and all but--" she was cut off.

"He's in league with Ganon! I know it! HE WANTS MY ZELDA!" Link yelled loudly enough so that all the villagers could hear.

Right when Link was already swinging his sword, a flying squirrel leaped from one of the houses unto Link's hat. The squirrel bit his hair and just stayed like that until Link dropped his sword.

"What the-" Link stopped in mid-sentence. "WHY IS THERE A SQUIRREL ON MY HEAD?" Link started running around in a circle until he finally got off course and slammed his body into a wall.

"Well, at least my point of you being a moron was proven." Navi said optimistically.

"Yeah... and I didn't get my head chopped off." the worker said gratefully. He shuddered at the idea as he rubbed the palm of his hand against the back of his neck.

Link had gone unconscious, so the squirrel took this opportunity to take off. As it began running, however, Navi used her whole body to grab the squirrel's tail before it could leave. She put all her body into the action, since it was her only chance of stopping it.

"Oh no you don't! You bit Link's head! What if he got an infection? It would be all your fault!" Navi glared at the squirrel. Though, after a moment of glaring, she began laughing hysterically.

"Wow... wait till our dear princess hears about this." Navi smiled to herself mischievously. _This is too good. He could defeat monsters, one-eyed creatures (and at these times it's very convenient to stay in his hat), and he's even been able to talk to Zelda at times without stuttering, but, for him to run into a wall just 'cause of a squirrel is too tempting to let go. FINALLY! I can blackmail Link! Heh... let's see him call me puny one more time..._

After about an hour and a half, Link finally woke up. "Ok... what hap-" just then Link realized what had previously taken place. "WHERE'S THAT DAMN SQUIRREL? I'M GOING TO KILL IT!" Link's eyes momentarily changed color, as for some reason they'd been doing lately when he was really angry.

"Wow... calm down Link. It was just a s-" Navi was once again interrupted by a raging Link.

"When I get my hands on that scrawny, little fluff ball, we'll see who's the one laughing..." Link said as he sheathed the Master Sword, realizing it was right next to where he had been lying.

"Well, see, actually Kito took it to keep." Navi said bluntly. "I can't blame him either... that squirrel did save his life." Navi looked up at Link warningly.

Link started walking backwards and tripped over a random tree root. "Uh... what did I do? And who the heck is Kito?" Link asked nervously, his bangs sticking to his forehead due to all his nervous sweat.

"Well, he's the worker YOU tried to kill. That basically answers both questions, correct? Oh yeah... I forgot to mention that I'm going to hold that squirrel incident on you for the rest of your life." Navi smiled proudly after saying this.

"YOU WHAT?" Link asked in disbelief. _If this puny, little fairy tells Zelda about this... I really think that she's not going to... ugh... what was the word again? It started with an 'l'... I know it did! Damn! Ooh! LIVE! YES I GOT THE WORD! _Link smiled idiotically due to his 'discovery' and was now laughing triumphantly.

"What are you so happy about?" Navi asked, surprised and confused by Link's sudden change in moods. "You better not be thinking about Zelda again or I'm going to hurt you."

"What if I was, eh? It's not like you can _really_ hurt me you puny-" that's were Navi drew the line.

"CALL ME PUNY ONE MORE TIME AND I SWEAR I'LL TELL ZELDA ABOUT THE SQUIRREL!" Navi raged, her vain popping out of her head once more.

Link turned deathly pale again, fear spreading through his veins as Navi's outraged yells echoed in his somewhat very empty head. _I wonder how a fairy so puny can yell so loud. Oh well... I just want to get back to Hyrule Castle and see her... see Zelda. _At this thought Link blushed, which caused him to cast his eyes downward.

"What's wrong Link? Trying to hide your blush again? It's not going to work with me. I've been your fairy for too many years for me not to know what you think about. Heheh... I'm sure Zelda would just LOVE to hear how much you like her." Navi teased, but stopped after realizing Link would convert to a tomato if he reddened any more than he was already.

"Let's just go Navi. I want to see her already." he barely whispered, even though his thoughts suddenly drifted to steak with rice. _Food... I haven't had that in days now! I just realized how hungry I am. Hm, maybe Navi has some food. _Link glanced hopefully at the fairy, then realized she was _way _too small to be carrying food. _Well, this just means I'd better get going._

With that, Link and Navi traveled down the steps of Kakariko Village.

**Author's Note:**** Okay well...this is my first Zelda fanfic and I started it to get a little fresh air from another small project (which is currently on hiatus) but anyways, at the moment and probably for the next few chaps it wont have a clear point but worry not! Cause it WILL have one...just...not yet. For the time being, it's just gonna be a hel of a lot of randomness. Oh yeah, flame it, comment, review and all that...and if you do flame, please...no cussing. Cause I wouldnt give a damn but if you curse, then I have a problem. Anyways, please enjoy!**


	2. Getting To Hyrule

**Chapter Two: Getting To Hyrule**

As Link and Navi were walking down the steps of Kakariko Village, the old owl appeared as out of nowhere to speak with Link. He perched himself on the tree just outside the village and cocked his head as he and Link made eye contact.

"Link! So good to see you again. Unfortunately, I have grave news for you." the owl said, extending and retracting its neck before and after the word 'unfortunately'.

"What do you mean grave news? Can it wait? I'm kind of in a hurry." Link said, still thinking about seeing Zelda.

"Link... what does 'grave' mean to you?" Navi asked sarcastically as she smacked him on his cheek, even though it merely left a red mark the size of a mosquito bite.

Link was about to flick Navi off his shoulder after she finished slapping him in order for her to shut up for a moment, but she was quicker. She flew up to his infamous green hat and bounced on it like a toy.

"Fwee! This is fun Link! This just made my day! I'm so happy! FWEE!" Navi said happily, finally feeling carefree after the 'incident' in the village. "You know what, Link? I don't think I've been this happy in a while... well, excluding the moment with the squirrel and all." Navi said slyly, hoping to annoy Link once more.

The vein on Link's popped out, letting Navi know her wish was slowly coming true. "Navi... can you get off? I'm _trying _to talk to the owl if you don't mind." Link said angrily as he clenched his fists at his side.

By this time it was already close to midnight, and the ghosts around Kakariko Village (A/N: think the Po's from Ocarina of Time) were already coming out. One spotted Link and decided to go bother him.

_Well... he did shoot me with his cursed arrow the other day... well, it was probably night... I can't remember. I hate my memory... it really does get worse after you die. Curse the man who invented death! Anyway... what was I going to do? Oh right! I was going to kill the little, wretched fairy boy! Finally REVENGE! _The angry Po thought to himself.

The Po got closer and closer to Link, who, at the moment was trying to catch Navi since she kept tugging on his hat to keep.

"I want it Link! It's not like you ever really use it! Please? I've done so much for you, why won't you-" but sadly, Navi was interrupted by Link.

"You've done what for me? Tell me, "You can't open the doors because of its iron bars?" I ALREADY KNEW THAT!" Link raged, remembering once in the Water Temple when he was frustrated at a door and took his anger out on it. Navi's suggestion about giving up on the door soon followed, which resulted in Link putting Navi away in his hat.

"Hey! If it weren't for me, you would've never beaten that stupid boss! And what about when we faced that first boss outside of Clocktown, eh? Don't be telling me you knew how to kill that one!" Navi spat back, remembering Link's almost fatal attempt in killing that boss with a bottled fairy.

"Ok... maybe that was a stupid way in trying to defeat that boss, but, it's not like your life was the one depending on it! I lost a lot of hearts that day, so shut up already!" Link said, his eyes showing deep embarrassment.

Navi burst into laughter. She held her side when it cramped up due to all the laughing she was doing. Finally, tears started falling and she just kept laughing while the owl (A/N yes he's still there) and Link just stared.

"Well, err... Link! As I was saying various minutes ago I-" but the owl was once more cut off by one of Link's random questions.

"Hey, do you even have a name? Am I just supposed to call you 'owl' for the rest of our lives? Seriously, who in their right minds would name an owl, owl? It just doesn't make sense! Am I right, or am I right?" Link said, confident that he was, well, right.

There was an awkward moment and even the Po who had been edging closer to Link had to stop and process the stupidity of Link. Finally, Navi broke the silence with one of her comments.

"You know Link, I think I know why the makers of Zelda made sure that you had us." Navi said, realizing _why _she was forced to stay with Link.

As most people don't know, Navi has an invisible chain to Link that would never let her wander on her own. Whenever she has tried to stay behind so that she and Link can go their separate ways, someway or another Navi was always pulled back to Link when he was a certain distance away from her, which in turn almost strangled Navi a couple of times.

"Oh yeah? And why would that be my puny fairy friend?" Link said stupidly, not remembering the blackmail from earlier that day. He just grinned stupidly as Navi changed colors once more, but stopped when she arrived at lavender.

Slowly, but efficiently, Navi went back down to her yellow glow before she could say anything to Link. She simply flew to Link's shoulder and sat herself there, waiting for him to comment on her quietness.

After about five minutes of awkward silence, Link spoke up. "Why the heck are you so damn quiet Navi! At least say SOMETHING. Can't even defend yourself." Link spat coldly, glaring at the fairy who was now sitting patiently on his shoulder.

"Well Link, I would've hoped you could've had better memory than this." Navi replied calmly. After receiving a blank stare from Link, she sighed. "I mean when I blackmailed you in Kakariko Village, Link." Navi said in an unnerving tone.

"You dared to threaten the great Hero of Time? I cannot believe this absurdity! How can you! Being his companion and all, I would have hoped you would've grown to trust him!" the owl exclaimed, though, being an owl, it wasn't very loud.

"Ha! The 'great Hero of Time' you say? Please! He can't even open a stupid barred door!" Navi said, beginning to laugh as she remembered the incident once more.

"Hey! I told you already! I WAS TAKING MY ANGER OUT ON THE DOOR!" Link shouted loudly, which caused the fairy to be hurled into the tree the owl was perched on.

"OW! LINK I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" Navi yelled, once again sending shivers up and down Link's spine.

Link stood there, wide-eyed along with the owl. This time Navi had _really_ outdone herself. She even had to gasp for air after finishing her statement. The Po that was steadily nearing them even stopped... again.

"Well, Link, I came to tell you that our Princess Zelda has fallen ill and that I wish you good luck and fortune in helping her recuperate. Anou... I shall visit you soon!" and with that, the owl flew off.

"Well... he waited all that time just to tell us Zelda's gotten sick? Wow... that must've taken a **lot** longer than expected. Poor owl..." Navi said as she shook her head from side to side.

"POOR OWL! YOU _MUST _MEAN POOR ZELDA!" Link waved his arms around frantically as he walked swiftly in a circle. He began mumbling things about "... red potion costs 125 rupees now" and "... maybe Navi can heal her..."

Navi overheard that last comment and a look of fear swallowed her previously near-calm expression. "What do you mean me heal Zelda? You can't be serious! That girl's a stubborn son of a..."

"HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT ABOUT MY ZELDA! SHE'S THE MOST HEAVENLY CREATURE THAT WAS CREATED FOR THIS EARTH AND NO ONE IS GOING TO TELL ME OTHERWISE!" Link's eyes flashed. He sent a warning glare at Navi, who decided it be best if she didn't say anything more, but...

"Well, I beg to differ Link. You see, Zelda is... oh... how should I say... A SPOILED BRAT WHO IS ALWAYS DRESSED IN PINK!" Navi shot back, leaving Link even more outraged than he was moments ago.

"HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT ABOUT MY-" but Link was cut off by a Po that just shot fire at him.

"BWUAHAHAHA! I'VE HAD A TASTE OF MY REVENGE! AT LAST!" the Po hollered, laughing triumphantly as Link drew his sword out quickly, making the fire diminish.

"I was in the middle of something you know." Link said as he glared a thousand daggers at the Po.

"Oh yes, that's right. You were saying about how madly in love you were with the Princess. I'm sorry I interrupted your fantasy of you and her having-" but before the Po could finish, a sword sliced him.

"That's what you deserve you wretched Po!" Link said, a horribly red blush covering his entire face, and even lingering in parts of his neck.

"Anou... Link, I think you forgot something." Navi said as she pointed to the still partially alive Po. "You need to cut it twice so that it'll go back into the form of a spirit."

"Oh... right. I guess I did forget about that." Link said as he began running once more towards the cowering Po.

Unfortunately, the Po had disappeared into a wall before Link could reach it. Although, the Po did say one final comment to Link before it disappeared. "I'll have you know that some of us Po can give nightmares to whom we choose, including your precious Princess Zelda." The Po laughed wickedly and disappeared,

"Does he mean that, Navi? Can he really do that to Zelda or was he just saying that to mock me before he left!" Link said, obvious concern in his voice.

By this time, it was a little past two-thirty, and Navi was getting tired. "Maybe we should just go to sleep Link. I mean, come on already, it's probably past midnight by now!" Navi yelled, although, to Link's relief it wasn't her deathly, 'I'm about to beat the crap out of Link' yell.

"Well, Iet's get to the entrance to Hyrule Castle and I'll play the Sun's song. Then we could go to the castle and sleep in one of the millions of spare rooms Zelda has there. After, we have to take responsibility for Zelda." Link said, forgetting completely about his previous question.

"Ok, sure. But... don't forget we have to go to Gerudo Valley tomorrow night. As for the sleeping part, it sounds great. Count me in." Navi said lazily, flying over to Link, raising his hat, and putting herself into temporary sleep.

"What? Where do we have to go tomorrow night?" Link asked, obviously annoyed at the fact that he couldn't be by Zelda's side while she was sick.

"Well, I thought you of all people would've remembered." Navi said, still semi-conscious in Link's hat. "You have to go gamble with the Gerudo girls. They said that if you lost..." Navi trailed off, ending her sentence with a loud snore.

Link sighed. _Great. I knew she would fall asleep soon, but, gee, did she have to finish her sentence with a snore? Honestly. Anyway, I have to go gamble with those Gerudo girls tomorrow night? Well... I guess if I can't have Zelda... it might as well be them._

This entire time Link had been walking towards Hyrule Castle for about ten minutes. Not that it actually took this long, but he walked exceptionally slowly, remembering one time he walked too fast and woke Navi up.

**Flashback**

Link had been walking towards Kokiri Forest, hoping to see the Deku Sprout. It was late at night and Navi had already fallen fast asleep in Link's hat. She was positioned a little unevenly though. Little did Link know that every step he took was lethal and could result in immediate death, for Navi _loathed _to be awoken from her sleep.

"Well... I'm almost there!" Link announced excitedly to himself, though quietly. He began taking larger steps after passing the little 'market' in the forest. After doing so, he began running, took a bad step, which ended in him falling into the water and a certain fairy waking up...

Navi popped her eyes straight open after realizing that one, she was soaked in water, two, she was trapped in Link's hat which was weighing her down, and three, Link woke her up from her sleep.

After finally getting out of the water by a fluke (one of the Kokiri children thought the hat was magical and pulled it out), Navi dried her hair and clothes, and then spotted Link trying to run into his house

"NO YOU DON'T! WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT WAKING ME FROM MY SLEEP BAKA! NEVER DO IT! EVER!" with that, Navi chased Link into his house, and, after he came back out, everyone realized how disfigured the man looked.

"You didn't have to hit me there you know." Link said as he winced in excruciating pain. "That really, really, _really _hurts."

"Yeah I know." Navi said grinning evilly. "That's why if you complain anymore about it, I'll just put you through hell all over again."

To that, Link cringed. _I never want to feel THAT getting touched again by that stupid puny fairy... curse her._

**End Flashback**

_All right... time to play the Sun's Song and see Zelda again! I can't believe I'm going to see her again so soon! FINALLY!_

At last, Link took out his Ocarina, played the Sun's song, but... sadly, he stood right below where the bridge lowered in the morning...

**Author's Note: **Well, I may have not received too many reviews (heck, I only got two) but that okay…right? I mean…two still means two people are expecting a story, ne? Anyways, I know the bridge in front of Hyrule Castle Town actually lands on water, but…they're bound to make SOME modifications…eventually. Ah yes, to Ayumi187, you're absolutely right about Navi. I know she's blue, but I wrote chapter one (and a few others) a while back, and when I wrote it, I must've been very sleep or been thinking of Tatl from MM because…Navi is VERY blue. lmao Anywhoo, to Smallfry08, don't worry; you'll be seeing MUCH more of this squirrel in the future…but not quite yet. Expect a LOT of randomness and insane-ness in this fic because well…it is. Well, anyways, please enjoy!

Read and review? Eheh…please?


	3. The Lon Family

Disclaimer: You know, if I owned The Legend of Zelda, I'd have made Link always wear his red tunic, make Navi go -KABOOM- and of course, I'd have NEVER made Link and Zelda split up at the end of OOT. -sobs- Ah well...and on top of that, I would probably make more classic games instead of all this Four Swords and Windwaker and ugh...it makes me sick. . Woot for The Legend of Zelda, A Link To the Past and Ocarina of Time! w00t!

**.:.Chapter Three: The Lon Family.:.**

Link had just played the Sun's song right at the entrance of Hyrule Castle. Well, as the Sun came up, the bridge came straight down right on to where Link's hat and head were. Unfortunately for Link, not only was he being murdered by a bridge, but if he survived that, there'd be someone who would finish off the job...

"DAMN IT ALL!" Link yelled as he cut open a whole in the bridge and struggled to free himself. "Who the hell would lower a gate that fast if there was someone under it!"

While Link was speaking, there was a very annoying, very irritated, very awake fairy in Link's hat, itching to get out and beat the crap out of Link. Navi had woken up. Not by water, not by some animal, no. She was woken up by a bump on her head with a bridge on the side.

Link muttered something under his breath about '...lousy workers' and 'I'd like to see them get a taste of the Master Sword." He continued rambling on about the men who's jobs it was to lower the bridge in the morning. _I swear as soon as Zelda gets better, I'm going to have those stupid idiots fired._

Little did Link realize the sudden stop in movement in his hat. Navi had just sat there, glowing a bright, threatening, 'I want to show Link what he is really like' red. She was waiting until he noticed, or until someone told him his hat was glowing. _ I can't wait to get my hands on him...HOW THE HECK COULD HE NOT SEE THE BRIDGE COMING DOWN?_

As Link stepped unto the bridge, he **finally **noticed something was wrong in his hat. "Navi? Are you-" _Dear God no! She woke up! NOOO! _Link thought as he felt his whole body wince at the painful memory from Kokiri Forest.

The red glow in Link's hat just got brighter and brighter, not cooling off or changing into lighter, calmer colors. Finally, the ball of red that looked like a miniature sun spoke. "Link..." Navi started quietly, preparing Link for the roar that was about to come straight from hell, "I want you to know that..." she trailed off, waiting for him to try to finish the sentence.

"That w-what? N-navi? Y-you're r-really scaring m-me." Link said, stuttering in almost every word. "Navi? Please don't hit me there. It's not fair that I have that weakness..." Link said, practically begging for mercy.

The glowing light finally came out of Link's hat, though, the shade of red from minutes ago still hadn't changed. As Navi came out, Link turned as pale as snow and began sweating profusely. Instinctively after seeing Navi's evil red glow, Link's legs automatically shot in a run towards Lon Lon Ranch, which was straight ahead.

"YOU'RE NOT GETTING AWAY FROM ME EVEN IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO, LINK!" Navi screamed in that voice of hers that sent chills up and down Link's spine. "DON'T EVEN TRY GETTING EPONA! WE ALL KNOW SHE WON'T CROSS OVER WATER!" Navi yelled as she saw Link taking out his Ocarina right before getting to the ranch.

_I have to keep running or that stupid fairy will it me there again! Damn it! Now I'm _**definitely **_going to get those stupid men in charge of the gate fired! I can't believe they would lower the gate with someone under it! Why couldn't Zelda just have it lower at the edge of the land like she used to? YES! I'M HERE! I'M-_

All of a sudden, the same squirrel that bit Link's head the day before came out of the tree right in front of Lon Lon Ranch and repeated it's action. It clung on to Link's head as if it was for dear life itself.

"NO! THERE'S A SQUIRREL ON MY HEAD AGAIN! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS! NOOO!" Link screamed, running around in a circle that once again went off course and finally got him to hit the tree.

Navi just finished catching up to Link, her bump, along with her entire body still glowing a dangerously bright red. "NOW I HAVE YOU! YOU CAN'T GET AWAY-" Navi stopped in mid-sentence as she recognized the squirrel from the day before clinging on to Link's head. "Hey! What are you doing here? Were you the one who got Link to go unconscious?" Navi asked, please to meet up with her furry friend once more.

The squirrel just kept its mouth attached to Link's head until Navi finished asking the question. The squirrel then let go of Link's head, nodded at the fairy, and stole the bag of rupees at Link's side. It put the bag of rupees in its mouth and ran off towards Gerudo Valley.

"Well... of all places it just happened to go there. I wonder if it heard what I told Link last night about going to the Gerudo's place and gambling." Navi stated, noticing Link's arms moving around as if looking for something.

"Where... where did the golden feathers go? I could've sworn it was here along with the... the butterfly pendants..." Link said in a low voice, tossing and turning as if he was in a nightmare. "THEY WERE RIGHT HERE DAMMIT! I COLLECTED TWENTY OF EACH AND NOW THEY'RE GONE! NO" Link yelled, his eyes till closed, not realizing there was an evil little fairy, taping every word he said.

"Oh Link... LINK!" Navi yelled into his ear. He didn't move. "Alright, you want to keep rambling about things from years ago? Fine. I'll just keep taping you. I _was _going to have mercy on you for waking me up but now..." Navi said as she stood right in front of Link's sleeping face, waiting for his eyes to pop open.

"Mercy... I like mercy... especially when it's served with pickles and mayonnaise..." Link mumbled in sleep, still not showing the slightest interest in waking up. He covered his face with his arm and turned on his stomach, which realy wasn't a good idea since Navi was on his stomach exactly across from his face...

"LINK YOU IDIOT!" Navi screamed at the top of her lungs, well, whatever air was left in there after Link's body crushing hers under it. "I CAN'T BREATHE! I'M GOING TO DIE!" Navi continued to yell, but Link didn't even stir.

"Hey Navi... can you go get me that elephant? I have to take it to my mom for her birthday." Link mumbled, still sleeping wondrously.

Navi opened her eyes wide. _His mom? Um... HELLO! Link your mom's been dead for a while now... ugh... apparently he must mean either her or someone else. Wait a minute, did he ask me to get him an elephant in his dream? What the heck is he dreaming about?_

"Hey... Zelda... how is that? Is it okay or does it hurt? Oh... you like it huh?" Link smiled boyishly at whatever it was he was dreaming. He completely ignored the movement that was taking place under his tunic... or so Navi thought.

"LINK! GET THE HECK OFF!" Navi yelled, not wanting to even be near Link as he said those words to Zelda in his dream. "LINK, FOR THE LOVE OF-" Navi had to stop in mid-sentence as she realized Link had grabbed her by her wings and rolled to his side, allowing Navi to be taken out gently.

"What in the world..." Navi trailed off as Link, with his eyes still closed, placed Navi on a large flower and stood up. He grabbed the hilt of his sword, and swung it about carelessly while he yelled, "NO ONE SHALL HURT MY ZELDA... NO ONE!"

Navi sighed. "Ok... you've lost it Link. Now please wake up before you hurt yourself." Navi said calmly, as she _finally _went back down to her normal yellowish glow. "Link... come one Link. We don't have all day. What if Zelda gets worse?" Navi asked, as she realized this was the last time she would try waking Link up before she went back to sleep.

Luckily for Navi, he awoke at the mention of Zelda. "Zelda? Where? And where's that dirty Ganon! I'M GONNA KILL HIM FOR HURTING MY ZELDA!" Link shouted, not really knowing where he was or why he was there.

"LINK!" Navi shouted at the bewildered 18 year old. "THAT WAS A DREAM! NOW LET'S GET TO HYRULE BEFORE YOU DRIVE ME INSANE!" Navi yelled, but didn't change colors to Link's relief.

"Oh... uh... Navi?" Link asked. "Where are we?"

"Link... look above your head and hopefully you question will be answered... unless..." she trailed off. "Are you illiterate?" Navi asked worriedly. _If he is I'll just stamp Zelda lover on his forehead to see how long it takes him to learn to read._

"No. Not that I know what that is... why?" Link asked as he lifted his head to read the sign. As he was moving his head upward, a bird flew overhead and decided to do it's business.

"WHAT THE HELL IS IT WITH THESE ANIMALS TODAY?" Link yelled as he wiped the bird droppings off his face with his sleeve and remembered the incident with the squirrel from not too long ago.

Navi sighed. "Link! Would you shut up already! We really should get going to Hyrule. Zelda might-" but Navi couldn't finish her sentence... again, due to the fact she said 'the word.'

"ZELDA? OH MY GOD I FORGOT ABOUT HER! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS! I-" Link was forced to stop in mid-sentence as he got whacked over the head by Malon.

Link whizzed around, his Master Sword already unsheathed, ready to slice whoever it was that him. After turning around, Link realized who it was. Malon was standing there, just giggling at the confused Link that she hadn't seen in months. Her reddish hair was a little past her waist and her blue eyes sparkling in the early morning sunlight.

"Hi Link! I haven't seen you in such a _long _time! How come you haven't come to visit?" Malon said in her melodic (A/N: literally) voice. Out of nowhere, before Link could even reply, she began humming Epona's song. (of course)

As if on cue to her humming, Epona came running as fast as she could and well... trampled Link. After seeing the unconscious Link under her hooves, she stepped off... slowly. Epona just stared down at Link for five more minutes, but was interrupted by a hysterically laughing fairy.

"OH MY GOSH! LINK! CAN'T YOU EVEN HEAR A HORSE RUNNING UP TO YOU!" Navi said loudly, not because of anger, but because of how hard she was trying to stifle he laugh.

Malon just stared at the still body that was now Link. She poked him with a stick several times, but, gave up after about the twelfth time and him still not moving. "Uh... Fairy? I think he's dead." Malon stated bluntly, a little compassion and... happiness? in her voice.

Navi gasped as she realized Link indeed _wasn't _moving. She flew to his face and poked him. _Hmm... maybe if I do this enough he'll wake up and if he really is dead... ah... so many things I could do to Zelda... _Navi sighed in pure joy. "I WOULD FINALLY BE ABLE TO KILL THAT SCRAWNY BRAT!" Navi yelled triumphantly, only to receive the odd stares from Malon and Epona.

"Uh... o-k..." Malon said slowly, beginning to walk towards Lon Lon Ranch. As she was about to enter, however, her father, Talon, came running out, gasping for much needed air.

"MALON! MALON! GET OUT OF HERE! THE COWS AND CHICKENS HAVE GONE MAD!" Talon yelled, as he tripped over a large tree root, lost balance, sprained his ankle, body slammed Link, and had a chicken fly out of his jumper somehow.

"Daddy! What happened? What do you mean they've gone mad? Their COWS Daddy! And CHICKENS! How the heck do you lose control of them!" Malon yelled, rolling her eyes as she looked at her father's sprained ankle.

"Oh Malon, dear, we've been over this many times. In fact, we went over this two days ago which I believe was Wednesday." Talon said as he thought critically, stressing to remember the day.

"Daddy, two days ago was Saturday." Malon stated bluntly, still mending Talon's sprained ankle.

"Hmm... well, they start with the same letter, right, Malon?" Talon said nervously, not minding the suffocating body under him.

"Dad. Does it _sound _like Saturday and Wednesday start with the same letter?" Malon asked impatiently.

"Anou... uh... yes?"

"No, Dad, it doesn't." Malon sighed. Epona then ran over to Malon's side, hearing her former owner sigh and crushed Link right arm in the process.

"Ah... Epona... you always seemed to understand, don't you?" Malon said happily, nuzzling Epona's nose.

Link groaned while blood dripped out the side of his mouth. "Oww..." Link moaned. "What the...hell... is on... me?" Link barely managed to say through the immense weight that was crushing his lungs, along with the rest of his body.

Navi burst into laughter and a sob at the same time. "NOOO! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO SUFFOCATE TILL YOU DIED!" Navi yelled, half provoked at Link's being alive and half enjoying the fact that Link was suffering. _Well, at least he gets the payback he deserved for waking me up._

Link started attempting to remove the enormous body off him, but, he stopped after realizing his right arm was injured. "OW! What happened to my arm!" Link yelled in agony as he tried moving it once more.

Once again Navi laughed so hard she thought her lungs were going to burst. "Link... Epona..." Navi had to gasp for air. "She... she stepped on your arm... while you were... sleeping!" Navi finished, laughing hard, not holding back anything.

"So Malon, as I was say- oh my! I am SO sorry young man, are you-?" Talon didn't finish his sentence because he was trying to one, not crush whatever was left of Link's body and two, he was recognizing Link's face.

"Would you PLEASE get off?" Link asked as nicely as he could, though his face to Talon otherwise.

"Hey!" Talon said excitedly as jumped on Link's body, crushing Link's back. "Yo're the kid I asked to marry Malon if you were interested!" Talon scrambled off Link's body and pulled Link up afterwards.

"Damn you, you moron!" Link said angrily, feeling his broken arm get even more damage as the man brought Link up carelessly. He glared at the man who gave him an idiotic grin.

"Watch it Link. He might just be competition for you." Navi teased, realizing that Link might just be smarter than someone.

"So are you interested in marrying my daughter?" Talon asked, looking into Link's eyes with a stern, but friendly expression. _If he marries my daughter and has kids, I won't have to do any more work!_

"Daddy! Why would you ask him that? Almost everyone in Hyrule knows he wants to marry Princess Zelda!" Malon said angrily to her oblivious father.

"WHAAAAT? IS THIS TRUE LINK!" Talon said angrily as he shook a very red Link vigorously by the shoulders, inflicting more pain on Link's arm.

"DAMN YOU TO HELL YOU SON OF A-" Link was about to finish but found his hat covering his face, which disabled his regular breathing pattern.

Just as Link was about to finish his statement, Navi rushed over and pulled Link's hat over his face. _Whew... just in time. I knew we should've gone to Hyrule, but nooo... Malon had to show up and get Link all disfigured. Stupid wench. THAT WAS MY JOB! _

"Eh heh heh heh. Sorry about that. He...er... had lots of caffeine earlier this morning and... um... then the bad language fairy came and cursed his tongue." Navi said, trying to convince the outraged 'lon' family. _I hope they're stupid enough._

"HEY! WHAT IS THIS? GET ME OUTTA HERE!" Link yelled, furiously tossing his right arm around, which caused a nasty 'crack' to be heard. "Oh... was that my arm? That could be why it hurts..." Link said, calming down due to the excruciating pain that burst up his arm.

Malon was trying to hold down Talon, who was thinking about ripping every limb from Link's already pained and hurt body. "I'M GOING TO KILL HIM FOR NOT WANTING TO MARRY MY DAUGHTER! YOU'LL SEE!" Talon yelled as he was being dragged back into the ranch. "I'LL HUNT YOU DOWN LIKE A HAWK LINK I-" but before he could finish, Link was out of sight.

"Well... on to Hyrule I guess." Navi said.

Link sighed. "This hurts you know."

"Yeah..." Navi smirked. "but be happy I didn't punish you for this morning.

Link gulped. _Right. I completely forgot about that. I seriously hope she sticks on this mercy route for a while._

They traveled towards Hyrule castle for about five minutes until...

**Author's Note: **Wow...I can't believe I've forgotten to put disclaimers! sigh Well, I got NO REVIEWS for my last chappy. -sobs- Oh well... I'll finish this story no matter what, but I'm going to probably take a bit because of school and guitar and augh! So many things! -sobs again- Ah well...as long as I have a few readers, I guess I'll be okay. lmao. Anywhoo, I'll try to update soon! And for all of you who read AND review, you will get a special email from me! Well, starting this chappy and on cause well, yaas. Oh well, anywhoo, I hope you liked the chapter!


	4. Finally In Hyrule

**Disclaimer: ** If evil little wanna-be kick-arse Link from Windwaker and Four Swords didn't exist...I say Twilight Princess would be out by now. . -throws mound of moldy cookies at makers of Zelda- Bakas! You all should've figured that out! -sigh-

**.:.Chapter Four: Finally In Hyrule.:.**

Link and Navi started walking towards Hyrule for about five minutes until the same worker, Kito, from Kakariko Village that Link had tried to kill bolted up in front of them. He stopped as soon as he got in front of Link and for some reason, he made sure Link didn't get any farther.

"Wow... now I know what it means to run. Hey! I almost forgot! I came here to tell you that you can't go see Princess Zelda or go to Hyrule!" the worker said, gasping for air afterwards.

"NANI? WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN'T GO SEE ZELDA!" Link screamed at the huffing man who was about to pass out at Link's feet. _Who does this guy think he is? He was lucky I didn't kill him the other day thanks to that stupid squirrel! BUT WHY CAN'T I GO SEE ZELDA?_

"You can't go see Zelda. I'm not going to let you. Even though... I probably should since you're the one that wanted me dead just the other day. Well, I really can't blame you for that now can I?" Kito said casually.

"Wow... Link... everyone from Hyrule apparently has you as their role model if they've all gotten this stupid." Navi said sarcastically. She saw Link's vein beginning to twitch and decided to continue. "I mean, they used to be a little smarter than this but, as soon as everyone learned who you were, well, that just changed everyone's state of mind around here." Navi said, shrugging off Link's growing temper.

"Will you shut up already, Navi? I'm trying to find out why I can't go see Zelda and here you are, babbling about what an idiot I am! HELP ME OUT WILL YOU?" Link said, very impatient at this point.

"Actually, I beg to differ." Navi said bluntly. "You only repeated what Kito had just told you, you never actually asked, '_why _can't I go see Zelda?' now did you? No, you asked, 'what do you mean I can't go see Zelda'. You already knew what he meant therefore rendering your question COMPLETELY USELESS!" Navi said all in one breath, causing her to suffocate at the end.

By now Link's vein had started getting bigger and bigger. All he could do was stare at Navi in anger while Kito watched amused. After glaring at Navi for about five more minutes, Link looked over at Kito and asked, "Ok, fine. **Why **can't I go see Zelda?"

Kito was holding in the desperate urge to laugh and answered as best as he could. "Our dear Princess Zelda has fallen very ill and her sickness is very contagious. Should you go near her, you would fall ill as well." Kito stated, relieved he didn't laugh in mid-sentence.

Link just gave him a doped look, realizing that Kito didn't say anything Link hadn't already known. "THAT'S why you didn't want me to go see Zelda? JUST WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TELLING ME WHAT TO DO!" Link yelled, completely flustered.

"Well I thought-" Kito began but was rudely interrupted by none other than, the one and only, Link.

"YOU obviously don't know HOW to think because if you did you would've known that I don't care if I'm going to get sick...I WANT TO SEE ZELDA!" Link screamed into Kito's ear, not allowing him to finish what he was saying.

"Well, I guess my help isn't wanted. I will be on my way then!" and with that, Kito turned around and began heading for the village when...

"COO!" the owl yelled as he accidentally landed on Kito. "You still haven't gone to see Princess Zelda? I'd have imagined you would've been by her side by now." the owl stated, surprised that Link wasn't where he said he'd go.

"Well... uh... it's a long story..." Link said nervously, giving the owl a sheepish grin as he scratched the back of his neck.

About three seconds after placing his hand on his neck, a floor master (A/N: I'm referring to those purple/black hands in Windwaker that pop out of the ground and try to drag you into their whole, not the ones that hang from the ceiling) grabbed Link's hand with it's own. He pulled unto Link's hand so hard that his entire body fell to the ground in record time. Link sprang straight back up and took out his bow and arrow quickly, not realizing he had his ice arrow's out. (A/N: hint- this tells you Link is oblivious to almost everything obvious in case you hadn't caught that already.)

"What are you doing out in a field? I thought you were only able to appear in caves and dungeons!" Link yelled, surprised and unsure about what he saw.

The floor master hissed. "_I'm sure that is what you thought you stupid little boy." _the arm said rather confidently.

"WHO DO YOU THINK YOU'RE CALLING A STUPID LITTLE BOY?" Link hollered, enraged at this 'insult.'

"Well, Link... I wouldn't get so upset." Navi said calmly, expecting Link to get mad after her next comment. "You may not _appear _to be a little boy, but, your mentality tells us smarter beings otherwise..." Navi trailed off, not bothering to complete her comment as she saw the Master Sword flicker red for a moment.

"Uh... Link... about just how mad _are_ you?" Navi asked a bit nervously. _Did I see that right? How did the Master Sword just turn red? Wow... if I ever needed proof that Link was supposed to be it's wielder, well, this is proof enough for me. I guess since he's the 'owner', the sword reflects his emotions, and right now, something's telling me that Link is getting very ticked off..._

Link looked down so that his blonde bangs covered his eyes. He chuckled coldly to himself, still looking down. Finally, after a repeated, "Well?" from Navi, he shot his eyes back up which, surprisingly looked... menacing.

"Uh... Link... I know what you want to do but, well, Kito's still sort of here." Navi stated as she glanced over at the unconscious body next to the owl. "The last time he was here and you were mad, well, he was almost killed. You might want to watch that tem---" a slash cut the air and anything alive next to Navi.

"Heheh... don't worry Navi. I'm not after Kito... I'M AFTER YOU, YOU PUNY LITTLE FAIRY! AND I WON'T MISS NEXT TIME!" Link roared as he chased Navi closer and closer into Hyrule.

"LINK! WHAT HAVE I- _slice _-TOLD YOU ABOUT APPRECIATING- _slice _-ME MORE?" Navi yelled as she dodged a few attempts at her death from Link. _Stupid baka! How dare he try to kill me after all I've done for him? The ingrate! Well, the sooner I get him into Hyrule, the sooner he'll stop trying to kill me. Well, that last few times he's tried this that worked..._

"APPRECIATE YOU? WHY IN HELL WOULD I DO THAT! YOU'RE A GOOD FOR NOTHING FAIRY ALWAYS TELLING ME WHAT TO DO, EVEN THOUGH I'M THE ONE WITH THE MASTER SWORD!" Link yelled, still chasing Navi into Hyrule unconsciously.

Navi stopped abruptly as the owl swooped right by her and sat himself right in front of her. She stopped a tad bit too late, causing her to land into a pile of feathers which were soon...

_SLASH! _ Link had sliced his sword through the air and accidentally cut off a few of the owl's feathers. He hadn't noticed the feathers... just the glowing light in the middle that was slowly changing from lavender to pink. (the other colors had already taken place) Link finally noticed the various amounts of feathers raining down about him, along with an enraged elder owl... and a man-killing fairy.

"LINK! This is an outrage! My feathers! My beautiful feathers! HOW COULD YOU?" the owl asked and yelled simultaneously. "Why would you-"

"You know," Link began as he sheathed his sword and forgot he was mad at the now bright red glowing fairy, "you never did tell me what your name was, if you even have one." Link stated bluntly. _Do owls even get names?_

"Yes, I have a name Link, as do all beings in Hyrule." the owl said, looking at Link as if he were an idiot. Well, not that Link wasn't or anything. "I doubt you would remember my name, even if I told you a dozen times, however."

"Hey! I have b-better m-memory that t-that!" Link stuttered, looking straight at the fairy that was nearing his sword. "Anou... Navi? Y-you know y-you can't l-lift that." Link said while his voice quavered.

"Who said anything about me using it." Navi stated, not really asking a question. Her voice was dark and threatening, showing no mercy as she said what she said. She touched the hilt of the Master Sword as Link and the owl stared at her.

When she touched it, the jewel at the center of the hilt glowed red, and, even if for just a moment, everyone saw it. Well, everyone being the owl, Link, and Navi, even though Navi was expecting this to happen.

"N-navi! What did y-you d-do!" Link asked, walking away from the fairy, seeing as though she now glowed a frightening blood red. He stumbled backwards over some small bushes and landed on his back.

"Well, well, well, Link, aren't you quite brave right now?" Navi asked, her voice still low and threatening, though there was sarcasm in the comment.

Link sweat-dropped. _This can't be good. I should have never said she was a good for nothing fairy. Baka Link! Why did you say that? Because she said you were stupid? SHE SAYS THAT EVERY DAY! Stupid Link... stupid Link... YOU'RE GOING TO BE-_

Link stopped thinking as he noticed that the blood red ball of light was looming right over his head right now. His head was still on straight. No scratches or bruises... for the moment being.

"Navi... what exactly are you going to do to me?" Link asked, his voice cracking towards the end of the question.

"Well..." Navi began evilly. "maybe first I'll see how well your head does on its own." Her cold gaze rested on Link's fear filled eyes. "Or maybe I'll see how well you'll remember that day in Kokiri Forest..." she trailed off.

Link turned his famous deathly pale color. "You wouldn't." he stated bluntly. He saw her smirk, then get closer to his face. He began to tremble so much, she felt the fear coming off his body.

All of a sudden, the floor master from before appeared as of nowhere, grabbed the fairy by the wings right before she was able to capture her 'prey', and hit Link over the head with her body.

"OW!" Navi yelled as the floor master smashed her small body against Link's head. "WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM? I WAS ABOUT TO GET REVENGE, YOU STUPID HAND!" Navi yelled angrily at the surprisingly strong floor master.

_"I have a name you know." _ the floor master said indignantly. _"My name is Kitaro. I've come from-" _Kitaro was cut off by Link and Navi's quarreling.

"YOU'RE THE ONE WHO CALLED ME A GOOD FOR NOTHING FAIRY BAKA!" Navi yelled at Link.

"YEAH, WELL, YOU'RE THE ONE WHO SAID I WAS AN IDIOT... AGAIN!" Link countered just as loudly.

Fumes were practically coming out of Navi's head. She clenched her fists at her side and her cheeks swelled with anger. (how I don't know) "DID I ASK YOU, LINK? DID I ASK YOU WHETHER OR NOT YOU WERE OFFENDED? NO!" Navi yelled, all the air that was in her body raging out with power like none other.

A vain in Link's forehead popped out in annoyance. He just lied there, staring at Navi. "You know... KITARO... I'm sure a fairy dinner wouldn't sound so bad to you, now would it?" Link asked mischievously.

Navi glared daggers at Link. "You wouldn't."

"I would."

"No, you wouldn't." Navi shot back stubbornly.

"Yes, I would dammit!" Link countered.

Navi thought for a moment. _Let's see how stupid he really is... _Navi thought curiously. "All right... yes, you would." Navi said, crossing her arms, even though she was being grasped pretty tightly.

Link stared at her for a moment. _So now she thinks I'm going to agree with her, eh? Won't she be surprised. _"NO, I WOULDN'T!"

Kitaro let go of Navi and somehow... somehow he (that's what I think anyway) managed to laugh. Navi didn't even try holding it back, she just let out all the laughter that was stored inside her at that very moment.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE ACTUALLY THAT STUPID!" Navi yelled, laughing uncontrollably while rolling on the grass.

Link just looked at her wonderingly, not even the slightest bit angry at her for calling him stupid. He was just confused as to why Kitaro and Navi were laughing so hard. He figured out as much that they were laughing at him. Why, however, was the remaining part of the mystery.

He pondered this as he stared at the two insane looking people laughing breathlessly in front of him. _I said the right thing, right? Oh well, doesn't matter. Navi isn't mad at me anymore? YAY! BONZAI! QUE BUENO! _

Link stopped thinking completely after that last phrase popped into his mind. He even began choking, due to lack of air because he really did **stop **thinking. His brain kicked in after about two seconds of absolutely no air. He had forgotten everything that happened within the last few minutes f his life except one thing.

_When did I learn how to speak Spanish? Heheh... maybe I could think of something to call Navi that she won't understand. Yes!_

All this time, Navi had continued laughing as she stared at Link almost die, then wonder about something. Well, after about five more minutes of laughing and staring, Navi and Link both got up from the ground decided to keep going to Hyrule.

"I'M GOING TO SEE ZELDA!" Link roared as he jumped up and down joyously, seeing the bridge not too far off.

By this time, it was already around six in the afternoon. The owl (we'll get to his name later) flew off to Kakariko village while still weeping about his lost feathers while Kito on the other hand, well, let's just say Link hasn't seen the last of this worker. Kitaro decided that Navi and Link weren't very... uh... sane, and decided to leave them.

_"Eh heh... I guess I'll see you two psychos soon!"_ Kitaro said, waving his hand goodbye. "_I bet that Link is going to be burned to a crisp if he doesn't keep his eye on that fairy..._" he mumbled to himself. The hand then went inside the warp under it, and disappeared.

Link and Navi were getting closer and closer to the caste until it was no more than two minutes from the entrance. Unfortunately for the two, another problem seemed to arrive. A wild herd of cows started stampeding out of Lon Lon Ranch, as well as a flock of chickens and roosters flying out of it.

"What... is... going... on?" Link asked slowly, still watching the stampede of cows coming towards them. _I guess Talon wasn't kidding about those mad cows and chickens._

Navi looked blankly over at Link. "I have one word to say, Link." Navi stated, still completely amazed at how many cows there were at Lon Lon Ranch. _I thought there were only like, six?_

"Wow... that's got to be a first, Navi. You only having one word to say." Link retorted.

"Will you shut it? My one word is..." Navi took in a huge breath as she saw Link slightly shaking from what she assumed to be the trembling earth. "RUN!"

Navi and Link made their way towards and inside Hyrule as fast as possible. With Navi ahead of Link thanks to her flying abilities, she got inside in about one minutes. Link was about to make it in but... not without a small fight.

"I'M ALMOST THE--" Link would've completed that statement except, a cat jumped from the top of the bridge and landed on Link's face. It clung to him for dear life itself.

Link had just made it onto the bridge when the moon came out and the wolf (again, from ocarina of time, well, hopefully) howled. The bridge was raised up along with Link and the petrified cat, who were still on it. Soon enough, however, the two figures were plopped to the ground in front of the bridge while a loud 'MOO' was heard outside of Hyrule.

"GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! IT'S RIPPING MY SKIN!" Link yelled in agony.

"Oh come off it. It's just a...a...ACHOO!" Navi sneezed as Link and the cat approached her. "Hmm... maybe someone was talking about me?" she said to herself, even though Link heard perfectly.

Link smirked mockingly, even though there was a bit of blood dripping down the side of his face and a very sharp nailed cat clinging to his face. "Or maybe... maybe you're allergic!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!"

**Author's Note: **Wow...I take quite a while to update, ne? Ugh...I hate homework...and guitar homework...and religious classes...and--wow, I'm really rambling here aren't I? Bleh...well, I hope everyone who reads enjoyed this chappy! Please R & R...you never know...maybe I'll update faster one day...eheh? lol. Well, anyways, I'm uber sleepy right now even though it's like, almost nine but...still. I've had an err...interesting day. -sigh- And I haven't completed anything from algebra...ugh...dammit all. Bleck. Anyways, kudos to all who review! I'll get ya'll something special one day...maybe some more cookies or something. lol. Please review!


	5. A Visit With Zelda

Chapter Five: A Visit With Zelda 

Navi's scream echoed through all of Hyrule. Everyone in their houses and apartments popped their heads out of their windows to see what had happened and who caused it.

"WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE! IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD I TELL YOU! I KNEW THAT HERO OF TIME WAS NO GOOD!" a woman yelled as she fell out of her window and luckily landed on the roof of a shop. (a/n: think in OOT…the lady who stays up to see the sunrise?)

"The end of the world? Miriam, I think you've officially lost it this time." another woman yelled but from a different home. "Your husband's probably just cranked up his snoring. That must've been awful after hearing that blood-curdling scream. Goodness Miriam, aren't you going to get- _yawn _-up?" the lady questioned after stifling a long yawn.

The woman named Miriam began moving around on the tapestry roof of the outdoor store. "Ow..." Miriam said as she rubbed her back. "This arthritis definitely isn't going to fix itself like this."

The black cat was now re-attached to Link's face with its claws tightening with every movement Link made. He didn't seem to notice, however, since he was too entertained with watching Navi sneeze every two seconds. He couldn't get much closer to heaven, since his dream had always been to see Navi suffer since that fateful morning she woke him up when he was a child...

**Flashback**

"Thou must go now, Navi, for the time of Hyrule's fate grows near. Go, and find this young boy and be his fairy. I trust thee, Navi, to fulfill this task." the Great Deku Tree commanded. (a/n: I'm NOT taking this straight from the game…sorries…x.x)

Navi nodded. After doing so, she flew from the small enclosure where the Great Deku Tree was rooted. She flew all the way to the wooden gate that was on a hill next to Link's home but...

"Ow!" Navi shouted loudly as she hit one of the bars from the gate. She rammed herself straight into it, only a few feet away from Link's house. _Why the heck was that there! There are only children here! It's not like they can actually steal! _Navi thought angrily to herself before taking off again.

After arriving in Link's home, she found that he was asleep. _You've got to be kidding me. _She stared at the sleeping boy under her who tossed a bit in his sleep. _Here goes Plan A. _

Navi began bobbing up and down in the air as she attempted awaking Link. "Wake up! Wake up! You're the kid who's supposed to save Hyrule? At this rate we're all going to die!" (a/n: I'm twisting the game version just a bit )

After seeing that her first plan didn't work, she tried Plan B. "WAKE UP! YOUR ROOF'S GONNA FALL!" Navi yelled as loudly as she possibly could before she bounced on the boy's head once.

"Nngh..." escaped the boy's lips as he tossed once more in his sleep. "Five more minutes... then I'll find your rupee..." Link said softly in his sleep.

"Ugh... this is no use. Let me try the Hyrule routine again, maybe a little louder won't hurt." Navi said to herself, knowing the boy wouldn't awake to her comments. Navi took in a big breath of air and let it out as powerfully as she could. "WAKE UP! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SAVE HYRULE AND YOU'RE SLEEPING INSTEAD! LAZY BUM, GET UP!" Navi said, swallowing large gulps of air afterwards.

"AAAH!" the boy yelled as he sat up in his bed, surprised to see a bobbing light in his one room house. _I woke up for this? You've got to be kidding. _"Um... who are you?" Link asked as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.

"Hi! I'm Navi..."

**End Flashback**

Link had to hold his side as he continuously laughed at the never-ending sneezing festival that Navi was apparently hosting. He kept watching the fairy sneeze, then get pushed back strongly due to the force of it.

"I'm going to k- _sneeze_ -ill that cat!" Navi yelled, but not too loudly. _Where'd this cat come from anyway? There are only supposed to be dogs here!_

"You can't even finish your sentence! This is too good to pass up!" Link said, fully enjoying every minute of Navi's torture.

"So you think th- _sneeze _-is is fun- _sneeze_ -ny, eh?" Navi asked haughtily, even though most of it was in between sneezes. _I'll show him funny. Wait till he sees himself in the mirror after this..._

"Funny? That's a definite understatement! This is HILARIOUS!" Link stopped speaking as he once more fell on the floor laughing insanely.

The cat was not far from Navi's current position. It had been trying to pounce on Navi for a while, but unsuccessfully. Now was its chance. It slowly and quietly walked towards the fairy, not daring to breathe in fear that it might lose its prey. Finally, after deciding it was close enough to the glowing yellow orb of light, it attacked.

"WAAAAH!" Navi yelled as she felt the heat of fur against her entire body, then the allergies kicking in shortly after her scream. "HE- _SNEEZE _-LP! PLE- _SNEEZE _-ASE HELP!" Navi yelled while giving two outrageously powerful sneezes.

By this time, Link was in tears. He was laughing so hard he couldn't breathe. "You... you got pounced... by a cat!" Link said in between gasps of air. Suddenly he remembered Zelda and why they were there. _Zelda! _He thought as he remembered that Zelda was said to be sick.

He walked over to the wildly sneezing fairy, grabbed her, the cat, and ran off as fast as his legs would take him, even though he still laughed after shooting a glance at his passengers every now and then.

"ACHOO!" Navi sneezed, not able to control her urge to sneeze. After cleaning her nose with a fairy-sized tissue (a/n: where'd that come from?), she sighed in relief. "Ah... that feels better." Navi managed, even though her nose was extremely congested and her eyes were very red and puffy.

Link had been dressed in his red tunic for a while. He very much liked this one and decided he'd wear it, since red was Zelda's favorite color after pink. After realizing there was a bit of snot on his tunic (a/n: yuck, that's gotta be nasty), he turned his eyes to stare at Navi while still running.

She looked up at him, then saw a tail swish next to his shoulder. "DO YOU HAVE THAT DAMN CAT IN YOUR OTHER ARM?" Navi yelled, her eyes fierce with fury.

However, this didn't last very long as Link ran straight into a tree.

"OW! THAT HURT!" Link yelled angrily as he sat back up after lying on his back due to his crash into the tree. He rubbed his forehead, hoping he wasn't bleeding. Then, he looked up.

Navi noticed Link just staring happily in bliss straight ahead of them. Her fury was now gone as curiosity took over. _It's either two things: Zelda or her castle. _Navi looked up and saw to no surprise that the castle was literally right in front of them. _I knew it. After smashing into a tree there'd be no other reason for him to be happy._

"I'TS THE CASTLE! IT'S THE CASTLE! WE'RE GOING TO SEE ZELDA!" Link yelled happily as he got up and ran inside.

Navi shook her head. _He's hopeless. I can't believe... _Navi stopped thinking suddenly, as she noticed two thin, diamond shaped eyes staring into her own. _Crap... this is NOT going to be good. _"LINK!" Navi yelled at the top of her lungs, hoping that the hopelessly in love 18 year old would hear her. Unfortunately, he didn't.

The black cat took its chance and pounced straight ahead, crashing into the tiny fairy and knocking her unconscious. It looked at the small, now plain body of a fairy, deciding whether or not she should be eaten.

Navi's glow was gone, due to her unconscious state. She began mumbling things the cat couldn't understand. "Pie... I need macaroni and cheese... bread, pickles, and Irish cheese..." came out of the fairy's lips.

"Mew?" the cat responded, not knowing what the fairy was saying. translation: Are you edible? (a/n: yes, cats are very resourceful creatures...)

The cat sat itself next to the fairy and just stared at her. It cocked its head to one side and continued staring. _I wonder what kind of seasoning would go well with this... _

Meanwhile

"I'M COMING ZELDA! WAIT FOR ME! YOU'LL BE OUT OF THAT BED IN NO TIME!" Link yelled, running faster than he ever imagined he could towards Zelda's room.

He turned left, ran straight for a few minutes, turned right, slipped, crashed into a suit of armor, and got up. He then started running again, turned left, left again, right, crashed into a butler who was holding tea, took the cursing from the butler, ran straight ahead, made his final turn left and...

"Zelda!" Link gasped as he looked at the completely pink dressed princess lying on her majestic bed that contained pink draperies, sheets, covers and pillows, and ran to kneel beside her.

"L-Link..." Zelda managed after a weak cough. "I haven't seen you in such a long time." she smiled feebly at him.

Link's heart was pounding rapidly in his chest, making him hope Zelda couldn't hear it. _She's so beautiful... even if she is sick. She's like an angel! _Link's eyes just stayed focused on Zelda's face, remembering every detail on it.

"So Link... what brings you here? Certainly not me... right?" Zelda asked, curiosity overwhelming her.

Link just continued staring, not even hearing Zelda's question. _If I could only tell her how I felt... everything might be a little easier._

Five minutes had already passed since Zelda's question, and she began to worry a bit. "Uh... Link? Are you okay?" Zelda asked as she realized he didn't answer her question after several minutes. No response. "Uh...LINK?" Zelda asked, raising her voice when she said Link's name.

"Huh? Oh... were you saying something?" Link asked, blushing as he realized Zelda HAD said something, but he had been focusing all his attention on her sparkling blue eyes.

Zelda sighed. "Never mind, Link." _I'm kind of tired right now, maybe I can send him off to do something for me. _"Link," Zelda said nicely. She noticed his eyes brighten at the sound of her voice saying his name. "I need you to do me a favor."

"Anything you need, Zelda!" Link said cheerily. "What do you want me to do for you?"

"Well, I need you to..." she trailed off, hoping to come up with something soon. _Hmm... I guess I could have him tend to Candy. _ Zelda thought to herself, remembering her cat. "I need you to accompany Candy today. She's been feeling lonely since I've gotten sick."

Link held his breath. _I have to babysit that stupid, good for nothing, son of a good mother, four-legged feline, JUST BECAUSE IT FREAGGIN FEELS LONELY! _Link sighed. "Of course Zelda! Anything for you!" Link said as cheerily as he could.

"Thank you Link! This means so much to me! When I get better, I promise to repay you." Zelda said, pure joy sparkling in her eyes. _Now I can sleep in peace... unless that stupid fairy comes along... _Zelda grimaced. _I definitely hope not..._

Link was about to exit the room completely when Zelda made one last remark. "Oh Link! I almost forgot! Candy's probably wandering around the town so... try to make sure she doesn't get eaten by any of the dogs... okay?" she asked nicely.

Link stopped dead in his tracks and gulped. _Wait a minute... in the town? Let's see, Candy has black fur... sharp... claws... HOLY CRAP! THAT CAT OUT THERE WAS THAT DAMN CAT CANDY! NOOOO! I'll never find her! Unless she's trying to devour Na-- DAMN IT!_

Link bolted out of the room, leaving a perplexed and irritated princess behind. "Well..." she said to herself, "he could've at least said bye!" With that, she faced her back towards the exit and fell asleep.

Meanwhile

The black cat was just still staring at the unconscious fairy while still salivating. _Damn it! I can't decide whether I want Caesar dressing or Italian dressing! Hmm... I wonder what kind of side I could use... maybe that idiot that brought us here? Oh Zelda! I miss you so! I miss your tender touch and your delicious food! Why did you abandon me?_

"MEEEOOOW!" Candy cried loudly as she continued to wonder why Zelda left her so alone, making her decide to finally go outside where the dogs howled very loudly at night. The idea made her cringe.

"Link... you have... a hyoi pear... in your shirt... GET OFF!" Navi yelled in her sleep, smacking the cat out of its daydream unconsciously. The hissing cat attempted to scratch the fairy, but, surprisingly was returned with yet another painful smack. "See Link? That... wasn't... so bad." Navi mumbled in her sleep.

Candy hissed _very _loudly this time. She hissed so loudly that she woke up Navi... finally. "What? Where am I? WHERE'S THAT DAMN ZELDA!" Navi yelled into Candy's small ear.

The black cat fell down right on Navi's legs. "GET OFF YOU D- _sneeze -_AMN CA- _sneeze -_T! I NEED TO GO AND RIP THAT STUPID SON OF A GOOD MOTHER ZELDA TO SHREDS!" Navi yelled as she slowly, but efficiently went up the scale in colors. When she finally reached red, she glowed a very ominous red.

Navi finally managed to get Candy off of her after some painful and excruciating sneezes. She flew over to the entrance of the castle and stared inside. "Zelda's not getting away with that... even if it WAS just a dream..." Navi seethed. "YOU'RE GOING TO DIE ZELDA!" Navi yelled as she flew as fast as her small wings could take her down the winding path towards Zelda's room.

**Author's Note: **-stares at chappy- Wow…I wrote this a while back…my writing is horrible! Eheh…sorry about the uber long update…though I have a couple chaps done, I either get to lazy to update, or I work on a couple other stories…or I urm…am busy? Damn guitar…and school…and bleck. . Well, in any case, I'll try posting the other chaps soon! Sorry if this was a crappy chapter…I think my writing starts improving at about chapter seven…? Can't remember. In any case, storyline will be coming soon! I believe the first signs of it are either next chapter, or chappy seven ; enjoy!


	6. Anger Management

**.:.Chapter Six: Anger Management.:.**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Zelda, Link or any of that good stuff. I Do however own my beloved demented squirrel! WOO!

Navi flew at top speed towards Zelda's room. That is, until a fairy clothed teenager ran straight into her. "OW! DAMMIT LINK, GET OUT OF MY WAY!" Navi yelled, her glow already a frightful red. She began bobbing up and down until Link moved.

Even though she crashed into Link, that didn't mean he was knocked down. he was still standing straight up, not moving a muscle. Well, almost. Navi rammed straight into his chest, which would probably bruise later on. However, Link had heard what Navi yelled and just glared at her.

"What do you mean... get out of your way? I was running when I heard you threaten Zelda's life and so I ran even faster. If you wouldn't have threatened Zelda, I wouldn't have been coming so fast and you wouldn't have crashed into me." Link said proudly, obviously thinking he was smart.

Navi rolled her eyes since she was already used to Link's idiotic conclusions. "Link... maybe if you wouldn't have been running at all and been in Zelda's room like you were supposed to, then none of this would've happened. Or maybe..." Navi cleared her throat and took a deep breath of air. "IF YOU WOULD'VE COME TO SAVE ME FROM THAT DAMN CAT I WOULDN'T HAVE DREAMED WHAT I DID AND I WOULDN'T FEEL LIKE KILLING ZELDA AS MUCH AS I DO RIGHT NOW!" Navi yelled straight into Link's ear, ignoring the grimace that appeared on his face.

Link rubbed his left ear which was the one that was more affected by the yelling and moved to the side. "I'm sure Zelda can handle you... even in her weakest stage."

"WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!" Navi yelled into Link's already pained left ear. "ARE YOU SAYING I CAN'T TAKE THAT SCRAWNY BRAT! I'LL SHOW YOU!" and with that, Navi flew off, completely outraged, towards Zelda's room.

Link rubbed his left ear once more. _Maybe I shouldn't have let her go while she was still that mad. Poor Zelda... always having to deal with stupid Navi every time I visit. It's not like Navi does anything but try... to... embarrass... me. _ A realization dawned on Link as he thought that last sentence. "OH MY KAMI! SHE'S GONNA TELL ZELDA ABOUT THAT SQUIRREL! NOOOO!" Link was about to run back when...

"Meow?" a black furred cat meowed as he clawed Link's ankles. The cat then noticed a red liquid going through the area he scratched and realized the figure was indeed frozen on the spot. _I wonder what the idiot's doing now... he comes over ever once in a while and always does something ridiculously stupid... hmm... this should be worth watching... _the cat thought to himself.

Link seethed. _ WHY DOES THAT DAMN CAT HAVE TO CATCH UP TO ME NOW! _Link slowly rose to his feet and just glared at the black cat. He realized that this cat was indeed the cat from Hyrule Town... or so he thought. "You're Candy, aren't you?" Link asked, actually expecting a reply.

The cat just stared back at him, not bothering to break its stare. "Mew?" was the only response Link received. All the while, the cat still stared at him. _Wow... this guy's turned into even more of an idiot. Poor Candy... the things she had to see when she lived inside this castle..._

Link began cooling down, that is, until he felt a trickle of liquid go down to the bottom of his shoes. "What the?" Link had forgotten about the cat scratch. He took off his right boot and noticed blood there... along with a few claw marks. His gaze turned and rested completely on the cat. The two continued the staring contest until the cat got bored and decided to leave.

The cat walked merrily on its way outside, where he expected to see Candy. _I wonder where she's been. She always told me to meet her by... _The cat's thoughts were suddenly interrupted by an outraged Link.

"WHERE THE HECK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING!" Link yelled loudly enough to make the hall they were in echo. His ankle was still bleeding but he no longer cared. "DO I LOOK LIKE A FREAGGIN SCRATCH POST TO YOU!" Link yelled as he ran and stopped right in front of the cat.

The cat hissed. _Who does this idiot think_ _he is? Screaming at me and stopping right in front of me so that I almost trip on him! He thinks he's smarter than me... doesn't he? _the cat thought to himself. _Well... let's just see how smart he really is..._

**-----------------------------------------------#$#$#$#$#$#$$#$#$#-------------------------------------------------**

Navi was almost in Zelda's room when she heard Link screaming frantically about his embarrassing squirrel encounter. _Almost there... almost there... then I could finally beat the heck out of that damn Zelda._

Navi made one last turn to the right. There it was. The pinkest room Navi's eyes had ever gazed upon. The walls, the bed, the curtains, the floor... everything as pink! Navi shuddered at the thought of Link actually being in this room with Zelda. _Well... time to give Ms. Little 'I'm-too-good-for-Link' a little beating. She and Link were made for each other... they're both morons._

Zelda turned around in her sleep to face the doorway. Her back now faced the curtain of her room where the sunlight was seeping through. "Ngh..." escaped her sleeping lips as she moved again to lie on her back. A streak of sunlight touched her pale skin and was very warm... too warm to let her sleep.

"Ugh... I told that stupid waiter to shut the curtains completely... great." Zelda complained as she sat herself in bed. She looked around the room, suddenly feeling a cold stare upon her. When she finally looked at the doorway, she shrieked.

"Well, well, well, looks like the little pink princess finally woke up. How do you feel, Zelda?" Navi said sweetly, too sweet for Zelda's comfort.

"Eheh... I feel perfectly -_cough_- fine!" Zelda stated while trying to hold back a cough. _Damn this stupid fairy... now she's plotting something. She hates my guts, she would never want to help me. All she wants to do is make me worse! Ugh... why does Link hang around such... creeps? Wait... wouldn't that mean that _**I'm **_a creep? No... I'm not a creep, I'm a perfect, little-_

"Are you done thinking yet?" Navi cut into Zelda's thoughts abruptly. "Because I'd like you to know, I DO have some things to attend to. They regard you." Navi said finally, not showing ant emotion.

"Well OBVIOUSLY they regard me Navi. I mean, why ELSE would you come to my room to bother me? Stupid little, puny--"

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME!" Navi roared into Zelda ear, causing an annoying 'eee' to be resound in the princess's left ear. "I DIDN'T COME HERE TO DEAL WITH THIS! I ONLY CAME TO HERE TO DEAL WITH THE TRASH AND LEAVE!" Navi once again roared into Zelda's left ear.

"You know," Zelda began while rubbing her ear. "you could always just _try _talking. It's very useful... and NOT excruciatingly loud and obnoxious like SOME fairies I know." Zelda stated in a very annoyed tone.

Navi's reddish glow turned into a sick, inhumane color that could scare the crap out of the demons living in Hell. The bright red fairy flew silently in front of Zelda's face on order to make direct eye contact. After about a minute passed, Navi finally let everything out with one single movement.

**-SLAP- **That's right. Zelda was slapped as hard as a Goron punched at its best by a miniature, glowing, very pissed off fairy who was very tempted to try that slap one more time.

A vein in Zelda's forehead began to swell so much it began to hurt her. Zelda turned her face to meet Navi's in a death stare... not daring to move. Her cheek was brutally red and had even gotten a tiny cut from one of Navi's nails. Her usually annoyed but peaceful blue eyes stirred with a fury never seen before in the princess's eyes. Finally, the princess also let out all her anger like never before, except, not physically, in fear that she might be slapped like that once more.

"WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE! I AM A PRINCESS, THAT, NOT ONLY IS SICK BUT CAN SEND YOU TO PRISON IF I WISH!" Zelda yelled, loudly enough to make every hall in the kingdom echo. "YOU PUNY, PATHETIC, LITTLE MOSTER OF A FAIRY! GET OUT...**NOW!**"

Navi smirked and just planted herself on Zelda's head. _Stupid princess, thinking she can get me out of her room just by simply telling me to do so... what an idiot. A perfect match for Link. Hmm... I can always keep her like this until Link comes so she can beat the crap out of him or... I can be nice to her AND Link and get myself out of he--_

Zelda raised her hand in order to hit Navi and get her off her head, but, Navi was too quick for her and she couldn't even see what was going on above her head. She began to calm down as a breeze flew into her room. She was still extremely flustered but, she decided to let her angered curiosity get the best of her.

"WHY would you slap me? WHAT IN KAMI'S NAME HAVE I DONE TO YOU?" Zelda asked, her fury beginning to show in her eyes once more. "I mean... it's not like I did ANYTHING to you. Not that I would even touch you unless I were to hi- I mean..." Zelda trailed off for a moment before picking up again. "So why DID you slap me!" Zelda said a bit too loudly for Navi's small ears. (a/n: ironic huh? she's the one that's always screaming...)

Navi grinned evilly as a fatal accident to Zelda aroused her interest. " I slapped you for one reason... and one reason only." Navi said in a deathly low voice. She looked up from her fantasy of Zelda's torture to finish her statement. "I slapped you because you said the most sickening, disgusting, vile thing I've ever heard in my entire life... and I NEVER want to hear it again... be it in a memory or reality." Navi concluded.

"Oh really? YOU SLAPPED ME BECAUSE OF A FREAGGIN DREAM!" Zelda shouted angrily into Navi's ear as loudly as her lungs allowed. "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?" Zelda once again shouted, ignoring Navi's shudder at her voice.

Navi sent daggers at Zelda as she glared at her. "You want to know WHY I slapped you? What I hear in my dream!" Navi said evilly, but with a greedy gleam in her eye. "All right. On one condition." Navi said flatly.

Zelda nodded in comply. "Okay... what do you want?" Zelda asked a bit irritated still. "And it had better not be to get a new partner because you're staying with Link." Zelda warned.

"Okay okay...fine... I'll stay with Link. What I want is some money, nuts, acorns, whatever you've got that attracts squirrels." Navi said, eagerly waiting for Zelda's voice to say a reply. (a/n: hey... there's a first time for everything...)

Zelda gave Navi a confused stare but decided against asking any questions. "Er... sure... anything that attracts squirrels... got it." Zelda answered. "NOW TELL ME THE DREAM!" she demanded.

Navi sighed sadly, wishing that she didn't HAVE to say the dream... especially when it was still so fresh in her mind. _I guess getting that squirrel to come and torture Link should be worth it. Well... here goes..._

Navi finally started telling Zelda her dream in full detail in order to get extra squirrel 'attracting' supplies...

**--Flashback--Dream--**

Navi had been traveling with Link for days in search of food, not exactly knowing where to go until Link suggested visiting Zelda.

"No." Navi replied to Link's plea once more. She was becoming agitated by his constant begging to go see his beloved Zelda. _Why doesn't he just shut up?_

"Come ON Navi! PLEASE! They have food there and we don't!" Link tried to reason, but in vain.

Navi snatched something out of her secret compartment she had created inside Link's hat as she flew inside quickly and came out with fairy sized food. "Sure we have food! Well, I have food." Navi then looked at her supplies and realized she was missing something. "Link... go fetch me few things. Pie... and I need macaroni and cheese." Navi requested.

"No." Link replied, a sly grin on his face. "Not unless we go to Zelda's castle."

"Okay, first of all, it's called HYRULE CASTLE. Zelda hasn't become queen yet... thank Kami. Second of all, I need three more things: bread, pickles and Irish cheese." Navi replied with more requests this time.

"Why do you need Irish cheese?" Link asked, not even knowing where he was going to get that. _Why would this damn fairy specifically need IRISH cheese?_

"I just do... now--OI!" Navi yelled as Link grabbed her by her wings and used Farore's Wind to transport him to Hyrule Castle. (a/n: I know it can only be used in dungeons but... too bad... I need to hurry this up, lol)

After arriving inside Hyrule Caste, inside Zelda's room, Link finally let go of Navi. "There... now go get your own food. I'm going to get me a pear or something." Link stated as he realized Zelda wasn't in her room.

"Nani? But Link..." Navi smiled as she completed her thought. "You have a hyoi pear... I'm sure that'll do fine." Navi smirked.

"What? I can't eat that! That's for birds!" Link countered.

"Exactly... birds have bird brains. If a hyoi pear can nourish a bird brain, the I'm POSITIVE it can bring yours back from the dead." Navi replied, pretending she didn't notice Link's glare.

"WRETCHED, LITTLE FAI--" Link was cut off by a smiling Zelda who for once was wearing something other than pink. She was wearing a lavender dress with the Triforce insignia on the front side of the dress and on the short shoulder sleeves.

"G-g-good morning Z-zelda." Link stuttered as he saw how pretty she looked in her dress. _God... she should wear lavender more often. Heck, she should just forget pink and stick with that._

"Oh, good morning Link! How are you doing today? And how about you Navi?" Zelda asked very sweetly, not hinting a trace of her present day annoyance.

"I-I-I..." Link couldn't even get past that. He just continued staring at his precious Zelda with pure joy in his eyes as he held his breath when she took a step closer.

"We're fine Zelda." Navi replied annoyed. She glared at Zelda who only ignored it.

"I'm glad. Ooh Navi, you and Link look SO adorable together!" Zelda said as she flashed Link a bright smile who only returned it with a face pale enough to look dead and a nauseous stomach to go with it.

Zelda then looked to Navi, who returned her bright smile with a scowl, death glare, and everything in between. Zelda walked over to hug Navi... which probably was the worst thing she could've possibly done.

"**GET OFF!"**Navi roared as Zelda semi- gave Navi a hug (a/n: don't really know how that one worked o.O), but held back in fear that she might kill the fairy. Zelda just smiled and walked off.

After seeing Link puke, Navi flew up to him. She had a scornful-0sarcastic tone in her voice and said, "See Link? That wasn't that bad..." followed by one of her infamous smacks.

"What was that for!" Link yelled as loudly as possible, which, came out barely over his regular tone of voice.

"THAT'S FOR ALLOWING ZELDA TO TOUCH ME IDIOT!" Navi yelled, fire in her eyes. sHe punched him in the stomach and left off to bathe.

Navi's dream ended with Link puking his guts and everything inside of him out again and Navi bathing for the sixth time in attempts to wash away Zelda's finger prints.

**--End Flashback--Dream--**

"There you have it, Zelda. That's exactly why I slapped you. Now you know I had VERY good reason to do so." Navi said, glaring at the sky as she faced the outside world through Zelda's now open window.

"Fine. But if you ever try that again, the cat can have its fun with you." Zelda said with a scowl and a pale face. _I would NEVER even touch that damn fairy! UGH!_

"You know... how many squirrel-"

**-CRASH- **A cat came flying through the window and went straight towards Navi, knocking the wind out of her and crashing the both of them into a pile of make-up that was strewn on Zelda's floor.

"YOU HAD BETTER NOT SAY A THING NAVI OR I'LL GET A DOG NEXT TIME!" Link yelled as loudly as he could so that Navi could hear his yell. _She's going to regret that ever so badly... I'll make sure of that._

**Author's Note: **GAK! SO SORRY! . Wow...I really outdid myself this time. Jeez... how long has it been...a month! More? X.x I'm so sorry! I really, REALLY am! Ugh...I'm going to try and not take so long next time. -sigh- Well, this is what I get for trying to work on two stories at once. Not to mention that original story... -hiss- Ah well, anyway, I hope you all liked this chapter! And Hopeless Maiden? Sorry for the lack of humor in the last chapter. However, soon-to-come chapters might not be as nonchalant 'cause the plot is unfolding...not much of a plot though, but oh well. I need a point to this story, dammit! Eheh. Well, don't worry though; after the plot does unfold and all that, I'll get the humor back five fold! Woo for ze randomness! Well, anyways, please review! And Happy Belated Thanksgiving!


	7. Out of Hyrule

**.:.Chapter Seven: Out of Hyrule.:.**

Navi slowly rose from the catastrophe Link had caused, glowing a red never before seen by man. It was a ghastly color, daring anyone brave enough to face her fiery rage. The cat Link threw was unconscious next to Zelda's make up it that was rather large and looked more like luggage. This seemed to satisfy Navi as she went over to the make up kit, somehow lifted it, and went over to the windowsill.

"LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINK!" Navi yelled as she noticed him walking off then stopping suddenly as he heard his name.

For some reason, he thought it to be a very angry Zelda calling him, but, not because of him, only because of Navi. He then turned around with the most idiotic expression plastered on his face, thinking he was about to chat with his angel.

"Yes, Zelda? What can I do for you to---NAVI!" Link yelled after realizing it was the fairy he hated so much, but couldn't get rid of no matter how hard he tried.

"Link…" Navi began sweetly, ignoring the fact that her stomach grew nauseous after hearing her own voice speak to Link in that matter. All of a sudden, the dream popped into her head again. "EAT THIS!" with that, Navi threw the make up kit full force into Link's face, who, fell backwards due to the impact.

Link lied sprawled on the floor, not exactly sure what happened. Finally, he realized the brick like object sitting on his face, causing him to immediately stand up in rage. "YOU PUNY FAIRY! WHO THE HELL WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!" Link yelled loudly enough to make the divine three wince.

Navi smirked. In all her life with Link, she never knew him to be so loud. Now however, proved her theory of him being quieter than she is, completely incorrect. _What an idiot… thinking he has the right to scream at me like that. I'll show him what it is to be at war…wait… doesn't he have to go gamble at Gerudo Valley tonight? And look at the time; it's already two thirty!_

"ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME YOU WRETCHED, TINY, GOOD FOR NOTHING FAIRY WHO DESERVES TO DIE IN HELL!" Link yelled, fuming as he walked closer to Zelda's window, even though he couldn't reach it, given its high location.

Navi shot him death glares, informing him to shove whatever else he had to say back down his throat, unless he wanted to become extinct within the next hour. Suddenly, Navi had an annoying expression on her features as she turned around due to Zelda's voice talking.

"Well, err…do you still want those squirrel supplies, Navi?" Zelda asked cautiously, not wanting her head bitten off by the lion. Noticing Navi's silence, Zelda quickly spoke up. "Um…I'll go get them… make yourself comfortable. I'll be right back." Zelda said as she hastily left the room. _Wow…who knew a fairy can be so…scary? She's got this aura that could scare the crap out of anyone! Poor Link…now I know why both want new partners…but…oh well! Anyway, do we even have squirrel supplies?_

Zelda walked faster towards the first floor of the castle, not bothering to respond to the waiter who was supposed to have closed her shades this morning. _Stupid waiter…I'll have him fired._

Meanwhile

Navi looked back out the window to where Link was standing, waving his arms wildly in order to grasp Navi's attention. Navi's glow simmered down to a bright pink, making her look like a healing fairy. "What do YOU want, moron?" Navi asked him, glaring daggers at the teenager who stood at the foot of the castle.

"Well, I don't know…AN EXPLANATION PERHAPS!" Link yelled, still infuriated. What he was infuriated about, he wasn't sure. It was between the fact that Navi threw something at him, or the fact that such a puny fairy could out do him in his aiming skills.

"I owe YOU an explanation? For what? YOU threw the cat at me, remember? Or did that make up kit alter your memory?" Navi countered. Her glow steadily began getting darker, turning into a wine red shade.

Link immediately noticed this and rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. "Um…never mind." Link stated, feeling very angry at the fact that he was afraid of a fairy…a very tiny fairy at that. _Yeah…a tiny fairy whose throw feels worse than a goron's punch…damn fairy…_

"Wait, WHAT? You're not leaving without explaining to me WHY you threw that cat at me! Especially since I have ALLERGIES! You IDIOT!" Navi yelled, causing a window in Zelda's room to crack. She took note of this, realization dawning on her. _Maybe I do talk to loudly…hey…wait minute…he threw that cat at me after saying something about squirrels…didn't he! HE THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO TELL ZELDA THE SQUIRREL STORY! _ Navi scowled at his cowardice. _Well,_ Navi smirked to herself, _if that's what he's afraid of…then fine. I'll make him face his fears for another day. As for now, however, I need to get my supplies and make his life a living hell._

As Navi decided on what she was going to do, she flew out of Zelda's room in attempts to find her. Strangely as it was, Navi was trying to get a hold of Zelda. She flew down the corridor and reversed the order in which she came, making sure not to make a wrong turn, lest she wanted to be eaten by a cat stashed in a closet.

Meanwhile with Link

"Stupid, little fairy…" Link muttered threw gritted teeth. "I'll get her back for this someday…" he trailed off, wondering how he could do so. Suddenly, Link's eyes lit up with amusement. "I could get her a cat!" he exclaimed excitedly to himself. _That would be perfect for her…and I'm SURE she would absolutely LOVE the cat._

Just as Link was fantasizing Navi's discomfort around a cat, one just happened to appear in his path, licking its paws, not noticing Link's presence.

Link halted abruptly, twitching as he stared at the cat. "And just what are YOU going here?" Link asked annoyed, wondering how the cat had gotten from Zelda's room to the outside so quickly without attempting suicide by jumping out Zelda's window.

"Mew?" the cat responded. _Why's he so mad at me? He usually doesn't mind me while I'm around…_ the female cat thought to herself. She looked innocently at Link through her big round eyes, confused at his reaction upon seeing her.

Link was scrutinizing the cat, realizing there was something different about it. Finally, Link dawned on a very possible, very unpleasant possibility. _Could there be…no…she wouldn't…does Zelda have TWO OF THESE THINGS?_ He sighed. He realized he was right when another cat sat on Zelda's windowsill, glaring at him. "Well…I guess we should take you inside then." Link said to the cat, even though, after his pathetic conversation with the other cat, he knew no response would come. "It's just you and me, Candy." Link stated as he walked off, Candy on his heels, feeling more comfortable since his tone of voice was gentler.

Candy glanced up at Zelda's windowsill, noting that the black cat was staring intently at her. _Well…I can't blame him for getting mad…Chips has always been very prompt about things…but still. How was I supposed to expect a dog coming out of nowhere to chase me?_ Candy asked herself mentally, knowing no answer to her question.

Meanwhile with Zelda and Navi

After a lot of winding staircases, corridors and hallways, Navi finally found what she thought was a supply room. She was sure this was it when she saw Zelda's back facing her, and an annoyed voice complaining about something Navi couldn't quite make out.

Zelda began waving her arms about wildly, as if she were in some sort of rage. Navi edged a little closer, wanting to find out what was going on, but once she finally reached her destination, she regretted ever doing so.

"WHERE ARE THE SQUIRREL SUPPLIES DAMMIT!" Zelda shouted right into the waiter's face, causing him to cringe. Her face was flushed from anger, even though to Navi, she looked very drunk.

"I told you already, Princess, that we HAVE no squirrel supplies besides those nuts!" the waiter exclaimed loudly, but regretted doing so after he realized he'd just shouted at the princess.

Navi could've sworn she say a fire type aura glowing around Zelda. Now however, wasn't the time to observe, but the time to plug her ears.

"YOU LISTEN TO ME YOU PATHETIC WAITER! I WANT NUTS, 500 RUPPEES, MEXICAN DIP, AND A HELL OF A LOT OF CAT NIP!" Zelda yelled into the man's ear.

Navi blinked hard, not wanting to see the sight before her again: a pale looking Zelda because, though she was moving about and screaming as usual, she was obviously still sick; a man who had apparently gone deaf in his left ear and was wobbling as he walked, and a waitress who was shivering because she witnessed it all. _Poor waiter... he must hate Zelda now. Hmm... I wonder if that's the one who was supposed to close Zelda's shades? Maybe. _

Navi flew out of her hiding spot behind a few kitchen drawers, and sat herself upon Zelda's right shoulder. _Since she deafened that guy in his left ear and has practically ruined mine, I might as well save my right ear..._

Zelda twitched when she felt Navi's presence on her shoulder. "What do YOU want, fairy?" Zelda said in a voice that warned anyone who heard that all of hell was about to break loose. "I am TRYING to get you those damn squirrel supplies, but, as you can see, I'm having just a tad bit of difficulty. Now if you don't mind, I'm going to check up on that waiter." With that, Zelda flicked Navi off her shoulder, and walked down the path the half deaf waiter took.

"Hmm... I wonder what bug went up her a--...LINK?" Navi whirled around to find Link with TWO cat following, one panting and one looking as if she hadn't eaten in days. "What are you doing here?" an annoyed fairy asked. _If he finds out I'm getting squirrel supplies... he'll kill me... or at least try._

Link glared at the fairy who, to his relief, was her normal yellowish hue. "I'm trying to get rid of these." he said, looking disdainfully at the cats that were right behind his feet.

Navi suddenly remembered her allergy. "EEEEEEEEK! GET THEM AWAY! I DON'T WANT TO SNEEZE TO DEATH!" Navi flew as far away from Link as possible... until her back met with the front of a spatula.

Link grinned to himself. "That's right... I had forgotten for a second that you hated cats. Well... I guess I COULD get them away but... it seems unfair." Link said, smiling to himself as his 'negotiation' was about to take place.

Navi grimaced. _Just who does he think he is? I'M ALLERGIC, DAMMIT! Well...I guess I have to give him props for getting into bribery. _Navi sighed. "All right Link, what's your price?" Navi asked, unsure if she even wanted to know.

"I want YOU to not scream at me for 24 hours. And if you break your word, I'll just have to go and buy at cat. So... what's your answer?" Link said while smiling slyly.

Navi seethed. Followed by that she gave Link a death glare, and, to Link's discomfort, even changed colors. Right now, Navi was currently at her pink stage. _Hmm... I hate it when he does that! He knows how much work it is for me NOT to yell at him. Ugh...I HATE YOU LINK! Well... it's either that or I sneeze to death so...I guess. _

Navi's glow went back down to her regular yellow again after much contemplating in her head. She concluded that it's better to live in quiet than to sneeze to death while screaming at Link, even though, that last part didn't sound so bad for her.

"All right, Link. Fine. I won't yell at you for a day. Now... GET THOSE TWO FELINES OUTTA HERE!" Navi yelled.

"Well, well, well Navi! Looks like we're going to be getting a cat!" Link said proudly, realizing Navi broke her end of the deal before a minute had even passed. _She really is a stupid fairy... heh._

Navi cringed. _What am I going to do? Um, um...ACK! Uh... wait... GOT IT! _"No, no, no Link! You've got it all wrong! I was yelling at the cats! Not you..." Navi said in a sweet voice, even managing a smile for Link afterwards. _I've got to watch it if I want to at least manage dying a less painful death than sneezing to it!_

Link wasn't satisfied. However, just to make sure he got his end of the deal, Link went along with Navi's excuse. "All right, Navi... whatever you say." Link replied, eyeing Navi cautiously as she flew towards him and sat on his shoulder.

"You know," Navi began as she made a high pitch with her voice, "I'd really -_sneeze- _appreciate it if you _-sneeze- _take those cats out of here _-sneeze- _Link. Will y _-sneeze- _ou?" Navi ended, gratefully taking the tissue Link handed her.

Link sighed. _I guess it's only fair if I take them out. Oh well... at least I won't go deaf for the next day... hopefully. _Link, to Navi's relief, walked out of the supply room with both cats at his heels.

Navi flew down the path Zelda took and, after about ten minutes of flying, finally spotted a pink dress with blonde hair flowing down the back and decided to fly over. _Thank Kami Link isn't going to see what Zelda's giving me or he'd kil-_

A loud "OW!" came out of Navi's mouth as she bumped straight into Zelda's forehead. She hadn't realized the princess had been turning around, and accidentally flew straight into the princess's forehead. "I'm sorry Zelda..." Navi grumbled.

"Ow... Navi? What ARE you doing here? I thought you were going to wait! Ugh... does no one follow directions anymore?" Zelda asked herself. She flicked the fairy off her forehead and walked back into the supply room; everything she had previously requested in hand.

She turned around to face Navi, who at the moment was busy rubbing her temple. "Here." Zelda said as she thrust the supplies to Navi, who, since she couldn't take the wait, fell straight into the ground. "Enjoy your supplies, Navi. I have to go." and with that, Zelda left the supply room.

After about five minutes, Navi finally managed to get out from under the rupees, nuts, etc. "Stupid good for nothing pri--" and just as Navi was about to finish that though, in came Zelda once more.

"Hmm... where is he?" Zelda asked out loud, 'accidentally' stepping on the bag of nuts that was right over Navi's body. "Ah! There he is!" the princess exclaimed, then began running towards the waiter who had gone deaf in his left ear, courtesy of Zelda.

"Mr. Tatanai..." Zelda began as she walked up to the now nervous man, "you're fired." Zelda finished bluntly. She turned to walk away, but felt a hand grabbing her forearm.

"What did you say, Princess?" Mr. Tatanai asked. Apparently Zelda hadn't realized she had spoken into his left ear. The man however, still had his left ear closer to Zelda.

"I said... you're fired. You know... you can't work here anymore. And if you do, you won't get paid." Zelda explained. The man still wore a blank expression on his features, causing Zelda to become exasperated. "Money! Dinero! You know... that green stuff that helps you get material things!"

No response. "ARGH! DON'T YOU HEAR ME FOOL? YOU ARE FIRED! F-I-R-E-D! GET OUT OF HERE!" Zelda yelled. Unfortunately for Zelda, the man had his right ear turned to her, but, since she had yelled so loudly, it caused his right ear to also go deaf.

Navi was on the verge of suffocating under the nuts, but miraculously got out and gulped air down like never before. After her breathing was regulated again, she looked at the man she heard Zelda yelling at. _Hmm... isn't he deaf? Wait... isn't that his right ear? Then... why is he still so blank? _Suddenly, the realization that should've dawned on Zelda minutes ago quickly seeped into Navi's mind. _HE'S GONE DEAF IN BOTH EARS! ZELDA YOU MORON!_

Navi quickly flitted up form the ground with her tiny wings, sat herself on Zelda's shoulder, and whispered what she concluded into Zelda's ear. "He's deaf in both ears... Princess."

"NANI? HE'S GONE DEAF?" Zelda roared, casing Navi to wince. Her face flushed as embarrassment befell her. "Kami... I'm so sorry." Zelda said softly to the man, even though she really felt like kicking him out of her house.

Navi cleared her throat. "Um... Zelda... HE'S DEAF!" Navi shook her head as she realized how much Zelda and Link really _were_ alike. It scared her so much, she shivered, even though it was the beginning of spring and the house was pretty warm.

"Oh... right. Well then, for err... medical reasons, I guess I'll let this man stay." Zelda said nervously. She waved to the man, implying a "never mind" and left the supply room with Navi still on her shoulder.

"You know Zelda... I need to get those sup---LINK!" Navi screamed straight into Zelda's ear. All of a sudden, she started laughing. _Wow... that was a close one. _ Navi thought to herself.

Link just stared. "Um... Navi? Are you alright? You didn't drink anymore wine, did you?" Link asked suspiciously. Suddenly he began blushing as he realized he was with Zelda again. (a/n: sigh poor link... so easily made happy...)

"No, Link... I didn't. Um..." Navi rushed off, flew into the supply room, found a bag, stuffed everything inside (a/n: the supplies), and somehow managed to carry the bag with the little bit of energy she had left. "Link? Carry this, please?" Navi asked nicely.

"Uh... sure." Link replied. He put the strap that was attached to the bag over his shoulder and walked next to Zelda. "Hey Zelda, how are you-" but he was cut off.

"You know Link," Navi began as she looked out the window, "you wouldn't want to keep those Gerudos waiting... they'll kill you." Navi finished, causing Link to turn pale.

"That's right! I forgot! Um... got to go, Zelda! Bye!" he gave a quick peck on the cheek to Zelda, and turned to run outside, a confused fairy flying right behind him.

_Oh well... at least he's going to be happy for a while... _Navi thought to herself.

As the two traveled to Gerudo, little did they know they left behind a confused Zelda who, wasn't necessarily _unhappy _about the kiss... just confused, and a sly squirrel who saw the departure and decided to follow behind.


	8. Getting to Gerudo

**Disclaimer: **Does it look like I own Zelda? No. I didn't think so.

**.:.Chapter Eight: Getting to Gerudo.:.**

Zelda had been looking out the window of her room, gazing at the red and orange haze the filled the sky with the afternoon sunset. Ever since Link and Navi left, she had felt faint and…alone. She felt very depressed for some reason but she didn't know why.

Well, I guess I should rest for a while, since I feel really tired. I wonder what's come over me. Zelda thought to herself as she lay herself down under the sheets of her bed. She suddenly felt beyond cold and covered herself up even more. Soon after, she fell asleep, the rays of the sinking sun lingering on her resting figure.

Zelda grew restless after only ten minutes had passed. She tossed and turned, almost falling off her bed. Sweat began to trickle down her forehead as she tossed her head around, as if in a nightmare.

Zelda had been dreaming a nightmare, one that she hadn't had in many years. A dream that had come once, almost eight years before; it hadn't really been a dream, but a reality instead. A reality that haunted her dreams, goals and ambitions, causing her to proceed every step with caution, in fear that she would have to run away again, and have to hide for seven years once more.

Zelda had been playing her ocarina to pass the time, until she heard the door in her room slam loudly, loud footsteps booming afterwards. Zelda immediately looked up form her ocarina, only to meet the gaze of Impa's frightened eyes.

"Impa… what wrong?" Zelda asked, her voice showing her fear. Not once in all of Zelda's life had she seen her protector, the person closest to being her mother, scared. Never had she seen Impa so fearful of something unspoken.

"Zelda…we must hurry. Quick, gather your things and go around the back to my horse. We will have to leave at once." Impa replied, trying to hide her fear but failing miserably due to the fact that her voice quavered. She walked back out of the room, retreating to her own in a matter of a minute.

"Wh…what!" Zelda asked, but finally realized Impa had already left. What does she mean we have to leave? What about Hyrule, and my room, and Daddy and… Link. What about Link! What if he comes back while we're gone and he won't know what to do? What if he can't open the temple because he won't have the ocarina? What then? 

All these questions raced through Zelda's mind as she moved about the small room, packing some necessary clothes all the while humming the tune that Impa sang to her as a child, her lullaby. The lullaby that had soothed her as a child, after losing her mother at the age of two.  
After gathering a spare set of clothing she went out to see where Impa was. She held the ocarina in her hand, not daring to conceal it. She had gotten a feeling of some sort, telling her that she would need it very soon, so, only naturally, she kept it with her, cradling it against her chest. Zelda opened her door silently, not wanting to disturb the silence, when she heard a loud knock at the entrance door.

"OPEN THIS ROOM! WE ARE THE HYRULE GUARDS AND DEMAND THAT YOU COME OUT LEST WE BE PRESSED TO BRING YOU OUT BY FORCE!" the voice boomed, making sure that the thickness of the door didn't diminish his voice.

Zelda moved swiftly from her end of the room to the other, after spotting Impa leaning against a window, looking outside at the setting sun. Zelda saw the gaze in Impa's eyes; it was one she had never seen before, one of fear and... remorse. Remorse? Remorse for what? Zelda thought as she neared her protector. "Impa? What's wrong?" she asked, wondering what could be troubling Impa.

"Have you gotten your things?" Impa questioned, deliberately ignoring Zelda's inquiry. She gazed out the window and looked at the graying sky while waiting for Zelda's reply. _I can't let anything happen to her. She was meant for great things, and if she is manipulated or killed, those things most assuredly won't come to pass. _Impa sighed and looked over at the quiet Zelda. "I'm assuming you've gathered your things then?" Impa half asked half stated, not completely sure whether or not Zelda had heard her.

"Um…yes. I have my things. Why are we leaving?" the innocent girl asked, worry and doubt evident in her eyes. "Why are we going to leave my father? Is something wrong? It was _him_…wasn't it?" Zelda asked, looking at the ground as she thought of the man that began living in the castle not too long ago.

The knock came again. "WE DEMAND THAT YOU EVACUATE THE ROOM NOW BY ORDER OF THE KING GANONDORF!" the soldier yelled, once again making his voice loud and clear. Suddenly, Zelda began hearing thumps on the door.

_What do they mean? Kind Ganondorf? But…Daddy was king…what happened? _Zelda thought to herself as she suddenly felt a strong hand gripping hers and leading her through the back. Zelda walked alongside Impa as she went out the door in the back, leading to the secret garden. They went as far as the locked door near the entrance, and from there went to Impa's stable where she kept her horse.

They entered quietly, so as not to surprise the horses and alert the guards of their whereabouts. Impa walked over to the white steed, patting its nose gently, as if to remind the horse that it was just her. She then placed the horse's harness and saddle in their appropriate places, and sat herself on the horse.

"Come Zelda." Impa said quietly as she held out her hand to help the young girl up. Zelda, still confused at to why they were doing this, just stared at Impa's offered hand. "Impa…why are we leaving Daddy? Did something bad happen? Why are we leaving?" Zelda asked as despair entered her voice. Impa's hand fell to her side.

"Zelda…we have to leave. I'll explain everything later, I promise. Please, just trust me and I promise everything will be all right." Impa replied, sincerity showing in her voice and reflecting in her eyes, even though it was almost pitch black outside as the black clouds hovered over Hyrule Castle. Impa held out her hand once more. "Please Zelda, trust me; that's all I ask."

Zelda stared at the offered hand for a few moments longer, then hesitantly took it, despite the tears that began to well up at the back of her eyes. _Why is this happening? We were supposed to live happily here, with no problems or bad people. We were supposed to live in peace and harmony…that's what Daddy said. I wonder where he is now…and if maybe he can hear me. _Zelda's confused expression turned to a sad one instantly. She had been sat in front of Impa, and had clutched onto the horse's mane the entire time, even though Impa had ridden this horse as long as Zelda could remember.

Impa motioned for the horse to move forward, but as quietly as possible. She knew the guards would be looking for Zelda and her, and therefore didn't really desire to alert the guards of their location by making noise. Impa then disembarked off the horse, leaving Zelda on it, then opened the door near the entrance of the garden. She unlocked it quietly and skillfully, once again trying as much as possible to make the least amount of noise necessary. She grabbed the horse's harness, and it led out the door with a little difficulty, and then stopped.

"Zelda…you must be very quiet and cooperative until we reach our destination. Do you understand?" Impa said, barely above a whisper, to the shocked and confused young girl sitting on her white horse. Zelda nodded. "Alright, I'm getting on. After I do that, we're taking off, not stopping for anything, so hold on tight, okay?" Impa said. Once again, Zelda nodded.

Impa then raised herself to sit on the horse's saddle. She moved a little farther back in order to give Zelda more room to sit comfortably, for this was going to be a long night. She then readied herself to ride quickly, then whipped the horse's side lightly, so as not to harm it, but to indicate to run.

The horse ran as quickly as possible, turning right immediately, running a little farther ahead, turning left, then running straight out of the entrance to the castle bridge. Luckily for Impa, the usual night guards had apparently been called off to complete another task, or perhaps they were the ones knocking on their room door? Impa didn't give it a second thought, as she concentrated on making it past the castle gate as quickly as possible.

Finally, after riding for about a good two minutes or so, Impa made it to the castle gate, but to her dismay, there were guards there, with the gate closed. She made a sudden turn with her white horse, riding up the somewhat steep hill, and going around. Unfortunately for Impa and Zelda, a guard deliberately put himself in their path so to as to prevent them from going on any farther.

"Halt! Who gave you permission to leave Hyrule Castle? We specifically received orders not to allow anyone to enter or leave. Everyone in the castle was to see the King before doing anything else. Have you yet to see his royal highness, King Ganondorf?" the guard asked, eyeing Impa suspiciously.

Impa cleared her throat before replying. "No, I have yet to speak with the King, but I assure you that it is in your best interests to leave at once. This new King is…evil. Please understand, I merely wish to bring the young mistress to safety. I beg, please allot me to leave." Impa pleaded, not wanting to lie to the man at all, for Zelda was right with her, and in doing so would confuse the child even more.

Apparently the guard took what Impa said into consideration, due to his lack of response. Soon however, he replied, his tone more skeptical and much stricter. "I'm truly sorry milady, but I can _not _allow you to pass. Though your reasons seem understandable, I am appalled that you would think so badly of our new King. In doing so, I am most definitely unable to let you pass." The guard concluded.

Impa looked at him sternly, and nudged her horse to move a little forward. After about another foot, Impa stopped. "I'm warning you, guard, move out of the way. I was trying to ask nicely before, but as you can see, I am unable to wait much longer, for the time of evil's reign is near. Now _move._" Impa stated in a deathly low voice.

Never had Zelda heard the voice of her protector speak in such a manner. Impa had always shown Zelda a kind and generous side; the side that cared for all, even if they weren't familiar with her in any way. Now, as Impa had previously said her statement, Zelda had realized that whatever must've been happening, must have also been very urgent, for Impa would've never said the things she did, and in that manner no less. At least, that's what Zelda believed.

"I'm sorry, Impa, but I am not allowed to—" the guard's sentence was cut off by a bolt of lightning cracking on the ground directly to his right. The bright light left all who didn't shield their eyes in a temporary blindness, though even with the shielding, not much was avoided. They all, including the horse, stopped walking or moving until their vision was clearer than black and shadows. Thankfully for Impa, her vision was better sooner than the guards', and therefore took off, not daring to give them an opportunity to hold her back any longer.

As soon as she galloped out of Hyrule Castle, Impa found herself in the entrance to the back of Hyrule Castle Town. She pulled on the horse's reigns, trying to make it slow down so as not to alert any guards that might've been within hearing range. Since no one came out after about five minutes' worth of quiet, Impa rode again, but much slower, since she figured it would be better to stay quiet until outside of the town. Suddenly, Impa braced herself, for she heard slow gallops coming from behind her, along with a certain darkness; an ominous power she couldn't ignore.

"Well, well, well, Impa. I see you're with the beloved Princess Zelda. Now, why is that?" a man's voice said, mock evident in his tone. He strode forward with his black horse, who, looked threatening as well, and ended up right alongside Impa's white steed. He outstretched his hand and cupped Zelda's chin. "Isn't she just precious?" the man said, an evil grin presenting itself upon his lips.

"Let go of her, now." Impa stated simply. "I prefer that you don't touch her, or even look at her for that matter." she said in a disgusted tone. Zelda looked up from her shriveled state, wondering whose hand could've been so cold as it touched her. When she looked up, she saw the one face she hoped would've never looked at her in return. "G…Ganondorf." she said, barely above a whisper.

Ganon let his hand fall to his side as he stared at Impa. "Well, aren't you the outspoken type?" Ganon said as a smirk curled at the ends of his lips. "Hmm…would you rather risk both your lives, or just give me the Princess, and I'll let you flee? Hmm? How does that sound, dear Impa?" Ganon offered in a mocking tone.

"I would never. I wouldn't dare give up Zelda for my own sake you…you monster." Impa said, as she tightened her grip on the harness of her horse. "Now if you don't mind, I've got to go." Zelda's protector finished, whipping the horse's harness so fiercely, she winced at the sound it made as it slapped against the horse. The white steed neighed in slight pain, but obviously took that as cue to run as fast as possible, and so it did.

"You will NOT escape from me!" Ganon roared as he savagely whipped his horse's harness against it, causing the horse sheer pain, but galloping after its white opponent without hesitation. As the chase ensued across and out the town, lightning began to crack all over Hyrule and rain as hard as stones lashed out at the ground below. Ganon followed his target as quickly as possible, but soon realized his horse was slacking. A sudden bolt of lightning cracked directly in front of his black horse, causing it to falter, and eventually stop altogether.

In the meantime, Impa and Zelda were already at the town's gate, waiting rather impatiently for it to lower as the sleepy guard pulled down the lever to make it open. As soon as it was down, Impa whipped the harness once more, though not as fiercely as before. The horse ran at an incredibly fast speed, surprising both Zelda and Impa.

As soon as they exited the town, they galloped away as far as possible. Then she saw him. Zelda caught sight of Link with a completely stricken and utterly shocked expression plastered on his face. He stared at her moving form, not able to lift a hand or move at all. Suddenly, Zelda realized why she had felt as though she should keep the ocarina at hand. She did the one thing she knew she had to do, and the one thing she knew would never be approved by anyone. She threw her family's heirloom, the magical instrument that held the key to the Doors of Time, back with such a force, that it flew about thirty some feet back without a problem. She cast a hopeful glance at Link, before clutching the white horse's mane once more, and pressing her eyes shut.

The ocarina landed inside the moat outside Hyrule Castle and Town. Link looked back that way, as if meaning to turn around and run to the ocarina, but something else stopped him. An evil so powerful, it glued him to the ground. Suddenly, out of the Castle came a black horse with the man he had seen so long ago inside Hyrule Castle, kneeling before the King. Ganon stopped in his tracks, obviously infuriated about something young Link didn't know. "Aargh! I lost her!" Ganon yelled into the night. Suddenly, his gaze was cast on the boy staring with wide eyes straight at him. "You over there! Little kid! You must've seen the horse gallop just now…which way did it go! Answer me!" Ganon yelled, cursing at himself inwardly for losing the Princess.

Link merely stepped back and didn't respond. He continued staring at the man, and for some unknown reason to him, he didn't trust the man, at all. Suddenly, as if shattering glass just broke the silence, the dark man spoke once more. "So you think you can protect them from me…you've got guts, kid." Ganon ended with a smirk. Instinctively, Link drew out his sword, ready for combat. As far as he knew, this man was another monster to defeat, and if it meant bringing Zelda back, he didn't care what he had to do.

"Heheheh…you want a piece of me! Very funny!" Ganon said in a low voice as he eyed Link. "I like your attitude!" Ganon remarked, right before sending a blast of magic at the young Link. Link stood back up with his shield and sword in hand, though a bit shakily. Ganon's eyes just stared at his, challenging him, daring him to make his move. "Pathetic little fool! Do you realize who you are dealing with! I am Ganondorf, and soon I will rule the world!" Ganon roared loudly as he rode off, whipping the harness of his horse against it so hard, the horse winced due to the pain…

Suddenly Zelda sat straight up in her bed, beads of sweat trickling down her forehead as she gasped for air. She looked around her room, but regretted doing so as her head soon felt dizzy. The room was dark, no longer lit by the orange and red streaks of sunlight that had previously brightened her room before her deep slumber. The vivid images of her dreams, the terrified feeling she held within her as those memories flashed back. Why had she dreamed that? And how did she know what had happened to Link after she had ridden off?

_Maybe I am really sick and just didn't know it…ugh…I really wish right now I hadn't dreamed about that. It makes me sick to my stomach to relive those …wretched memories. Why am I dreaming of things that happened so long ago? _Zelda thought as she lifted herself from her bed, but was quickly pulled back down due to her stubborn dizziness. _Well, I guess I'll just fall asleep and hope that I don't dream things like that again…I wonder…did all that really happen to Link? Did he really want to protect Impa and I so much that he'd risk himself? _Zelda mused over these thoughts as she fell asleep once more, this time in a much more peaceful slumber.

Meanwhile with Link and co.

"Navi…are you sure we went the right way? This really doesn't look like Gerudo Valley." Link stated as he and Navi passed the entrance to Kokiri Forest. "Actually, if you were to ask me, I'd say we went the exact opposite way of Gerudo Val---"

"Yes, IF I would've asked you…which I DIDN'T. Ugh…Link, pay attention. I said go east of the castle. Does this look like east to you?" Navi asked in a thoroughly annoyed tone. She was glowing her normal color, but should Link continue with his complaints, she wasn't so sure how tolerant she could be.

While Link and Navi were discussing about which direction to go, their familiar furry friend was following them not far back. The squirrel followed quietly, until he decided to follow normally since he figured the two wouldn't hear him because of their loud voices. The squirrel then decided to fantasize about what he would get this time, thanks to Link's idiocy. _Heheheh…more rupees for me…those fools!_

"HOW IS THIS NOT EAST?" Link yelled, very annoyed at the fact that Navi kept contradicting everything he said. _You know…the stupid fairy is probably right. She always is…you might as well listen to her. _A voice in Link's head argued. _You'd better agree now before you regret it lat—_

"YOU STUPID FAIRY BOY! THAT'S IT!" Navi yelled, quickly changing colors from her pale yellowish white hue, to her menacing bloodthirsty red, meaning that she was ready to kill all who dared to argue with her. "I'LL KILL YOU!" and in a blink of an eye, the small, glowing red fairy grabbed hold of a sharp small rock, flew as quickly as possible to her target, and threw her 'weapon' in the most vulnerable area of her target she could think of. This left Link lying sprawled out on the floor, clutching at the ground for dear life as he felt a surge of white-hot pain shoot throughout his manhood. He winced at the pang he felt there, wondering how such a small fairy could ever cause so much suffering to a person his size.

Navi dusted the invisible dirt off her hands, glaring at Link as she simmered down and her glow returned to normal. "You know Link, you really ought to listen to that voice inside your head saying, 'listen to the fairy Link, you know she's right' sometime. It would probably help you a lot…in so many more ways than one." Navi said as she flew over Link and sat on a flower next to him, staring at his facial features, which showed obvious pain.

"You…" Link managed to say as the pain began to dissipate, "you wretched little fairy…I'll get you back for this someday." Link finished, finally able to stand himself up, though not swiftly.

"Ha…someday…I'm sure Link, I'm sure." Navi said as she soon lost interest, flew up to Link's shoulder and sat there, and then began examining her nails.

"Stupid fairy."

"Fairy clothed moron."

"Puny firefly."

"Gullible idiot."

"Spoiled little bit—"

As if out of nowhere, Navi and Link's furry little friend leaped onto Link's right shoulder (Navi was on the left) and bit his ear, causing a resounding screech to echo throughout Hyrule Field. (a/n: for those of you who've played OOT, Hyrule Field is pretty big, so you can only imagine how loud that scream has got to be ) The squirrel then jumped onto Link's hat, knocked it off, and bit into Link's skull.

"KYAAAAAAAAAA! GET OFF GET OFF GET OFF!" Link yelled as he ran around in circles due to the increasing pain in his head. Unfortunately for him, he finally began to feel dizzy, causing him to lose balance, and finally end up slamming into a tree. After the collision, Link had swirls in his eyes, a nice, deeply red shaded mark on his forehead, and a bit of blood gushing out of the back of his head, staining the green hat that was placed on him once more by his ever so kind fairy.

After placing the hat on Link's head rather tightly, Navi sat herself on a sunflower growing right in front of the semi-conscious squirrel who also suffered the after effects of the head on collision into the tree. She speculated him a moment, taking in his primary details: big brown eyes (which were half open), an extremely fluffy tail, and fatal looking teeth. Finally, he stirred.

"Squee…." escaped the squirrel's mouth as it shook around the ground, looking for something. Unfortunately for Link, the squirrel had landed right in between his legs after the collision, and unfortunately for Link's groin, the squirrel was in desperate need to grab hold of something in order to hoist itself up. Being the first thing the squirrel was able to use for this purpose, it was attached to quite ferociously, causing an already half-dead Link to scream with pain evident in his voice.

"WHAT THE HELL!" Link yelled as he rose up form the ground and detached the squirrel from his manhood. "WHAT THE HELL IS THE RAT DOING?" the pissed off teenager yelled straight into Navi's sensitive ear. This caused the glowing ball of light to fly up into the damaged tree (courtesy of Link's fat head) and rub her ear in order to make the 'EEE' sound fade away. She then hoisted herself up with the help of a vine and glared down at Link, pure hatred lingering in her gaze.

"You know Link, I'm wondering…why are you yelling so much?" Navi asked, causing Link to look at her with a blank expression on his face. She smirked. _What an idiot…he doesn't even remember the deal we made at the castle. Good thing too or I'd definitely have to buy something for my allergies against those stupid cats. Ugh…what a nuisance._

"Well uh…um…" Link began, rubbing the back of his neck, "I don't know…maybe because you've been pissing me off more lately. Yeah…that's probably it." He concluded, staring at the ground while he thought about his answer. "Yup…that's got to be it. I'm Hylian for goddesses' sake! We're supposed to be peace-loving people! It MUST be that you're being more of a bother than usual."

Navi clenched her fists. Navi's voice suddenly became deathly low as her peaceful glow transformed instantaneously to the inhumane, bloodthirsty glow it had been once before. "Why you little…good for nothing…scrawny, cowardly, useless…BASTARD!" Navi yelled as she hurled herself at Link from the limb she was on, causing him to wobble.

During all of this, Link's 'friend' had been watching this…entertainment, which caused him to want to join in the action. He chomped down another nut that he found in the tree, stood up (he had been sitting I s'pose) and hurled himself at Link's back, which was still in pain from the collision with the tree. Apparently the force was too much for Link to handle, causing him to fall forwards, landing on Navi. He was unconscious once more, much to the squirrel's disappointment.

Navi had been surprised by Link's 'downfall', and was now pinned under the Master Sword's hilt. "Nngh…how did this happen?" Navi asked herself, knowing no one would answer. 'Damn Link…you weigh a LOT. What the hell do you eat that makes you so heavy?' Navi thought as she struggled against the hilt, slowly maneuvering herself out from under its weight, along with Link's. After a few more minutes of struggle, she escaped her 'imprisonment' only to come face-to-face with the cause of it: the squirrel. However, Navi didn't lash out at it, nor did she yell or scream at it. She just simply stared, and the squirrel stared back. Finally, Navi grew tired of just staring and made her decision.

"You need a name." Navi said bluntly to the squirrel's face. "You keep tagging along, and I don't think you're going to get lost this time. Since that is so, I'm going to name you because we can't just call you 'it' or 'the squirrel'. Now…this problem is…what should I name you?"

The squirrel blinked, then began staring at Link's wallet. _Hmm…I wonder how much he has this time. The Gerudo girls are probably going to want me to clean him out so that when he bets, he can't bet…with…clo…GAK! What sick women! Hmm…I could always keep the rupees like last time…heheh. Yes…that's what I'll do…I'll keep my rewards. Perfect!_

Navi snapped her fingers and her eyes lit with victory. "I've got it! I've got the perfect name for you!" she said as she stared at this tail. "You shall be named Fluffy! And you shall be MY Fluffy! And soon, we shall take over everything together! We will become inseparable comrades! The amazing, fear inspiring, rupee-stealing duet! We shall be invinci—"

The squirrel was becoming aggravated by Navi's voice. By her second statement he was already at the point of gagging, therefore grabbed his 'borrowed' bandana, and wrapped it around Navi's mouth. The silence was peaceful, and Fluffy was glad for it. _Ah finally…that annoying thing shut up…peace at last._

**Author's Note: **Well, yes, I took a long time. I realize that. However…I have a little bit of news for you all. The next chapter…is actually going to contain the last chapters to the story. I believe it'll be either two or three chapters, so there ya go. I've been extremely preoccupied with everything, including my Inuyasha story ((which will be ending soon as well)). Ugh…everything's been a mess. I hardly get reviews for this story, but oh well. It's fun to write, and I guess it's too random to be that great. Eh…heh…heh. . Well, anywho, for those who DO review, please let me know what you think!


	9. Memories Unfurled

**Disclaimer: **I do not own The Legend of Zelda. Leave me be. -sigh-

**.:.Chapter Nine: Memories Unfurled.:.**

Zelda woke up not too long after she went back to sleep, her peaceful sleep. She didn't have sweat trickling down her forehead, and she didn't feel excruciatingly hot, but she still woke up because of her newfound fear of sleeping. She stood up after wrapping her pink robe around herself and slipping on her pink sandals and walked out to her balcony. The princess stared past the gates of Hyrule, past Hyrule Town, and just gazed upon Hyrule field. She felt different, as if someone grabbed her heart and molded it into something totally and completely foreign to her.

The moonlight lit her calm, yet scared features, giving her an unearthly glow. Suddenly faint screaming processed into her ears and, unless she was imagining it, it sounded very much like Link. No... I must still be half asleep. He's probably long gone into Gerudo Valley by now... and nothing can be heard there, what with those Gerudo girls screaming and dancing day in and day out now that they don't have anything to worry about...

Zelda sighed as she walked back into her bedroom, still wondering about her nightmare, or recurring reality, better said. Why did I have that dream? Why did it all of a sudden resurface like that without hints or anything? I haven't even thought about that day since the day of Hyrule's celebration. So why now? Why did I have that dream now of all times? And...the curious thing is... I saw what happened to Link after I rode out... or was that simply made up? Would he have really risked himself like that... just to protect my whereabouts? He was so young and... I don't understand...

Zelda shook her head softly, trying to shake all of her thoughts out with it, and lay back down. She began getting drowsy once more, and her eyes began getting heavy. Unfortunately for Zelda, the wind began picking up outside, causing her room to become too cold for her liking. She arose from her bed and closed the door to the balcony, but not before noticing something in her room.

"What... what is that?" Zelda asked herself quietly. She walked over to what looked like a ghastly figure, but she wasn't quite sure. That looks very much like a Poe, but... what business would it have in my room? Zelda pondered about this until she was near enough to the ghastly image to speak to it. "Um... hello? Are you a Poe?" Zelda asked, half curious if it would answer, half hoping it would just leave so that she could go to sleep.

The ghost chuckled evilly. "Why yes, my fair princess, I am. Why do you ask? Does my presence bother you, Your Highness? Would you prefer it if I leave?" the ghost asked, its orange-yellow eyes piercing right through her. The Poe looked ordinary enough, but for some odd reason, Zelda felt a twinge of fear as it looked at her, as if she was supposed to be frightened by it.

"Yes... I would prefer it if you leave, thank you. But first, what business have you here in the first place, Poe?" Zelda questioned, trying to enforce her voice with confidence, but winced as her voice slightly quavered instead. Damn it... why am I so afraid of this Poe? It usually only takes one or two arrows to kill it, so why do I fear it so much? As if it has caused me a sort of pain? I don't want to anger it; I have no reason to fight it, but... something about this ghost is unnerving. I just can't understand what...

The Poe's stare intensified, causing Zelda's insides to tighten in knots. He thought over the question a while longer, until he decided upon his answer. "Well, milady, a friend of yours has offended me, and in doing so, I'm merely being a good ghost and doing him a favor. If you ask me, he didn't take my... offer... seriously." the ghost smirked at the end of his statement, which apparently confused Zelda even more.

"A... friend? I haven't seen any friends in--" Zelda stopped in id-sentence when her thoughts roamed around her head and eventually found their way to Link. "By a friend... do you mean Link?" Zelda asked, wondering what Link could've done to upset a Poe. Knowing him he probably tried to kill it... and knowing him... he probably didn't succeed... ugh... I hate his archery skills... they suck.

The Poe once again just floated in silence, not particularly caring whether or not the princess had to wait. Why does this wench continue to ask questions? I just want her to go back to sleep and then... my little 'favor' shall proceed. The ghost looked up from his 'reverie' so to speak, and glared at Zelda, who looked paler than she usually did for some reason unknown to her. "By your friend, I simply mean a friend. Whether or not they be this 'Link' of which you speak, I do not know, for I didn't ask his name. I can only tell you that a departed soul such as I has yet to find piece and just wishes to fulfill the favors of they who are still alive, to... help make their lives easier." The Poe stared at Zelda, trying to convince her that he was being honest, and continued. "Why don't you go to sleep now, Princess? I'm sure you have a lot to do in the morning, and it would be best if you took in appropriate sleep."

Zelda eyed him cautiously, wondering what she should do. She wasn't sure if she should trust the Poe or not, since most Poes she had come to meet weren't the friendliest... or the most honest... but this one was confusing. Though his words seemed fairly considerate, the way he stared at her, better said pierced right through her, unnerved every last one of Zelda's senses. However, Zelda's body didn't disagree with the ghost at all, and before Zelda could lift a finger in protest, she was soundly asleep on her bed, not the least bit conscious to her surroundings.

The Poe flew by her and stayed there, not moving an inch. I guess I should continue my little game from where I left off. Now... where were we... ah yes, right after her escape and Link's so called 'daring' encounter with Ganon. Ah... Ganon... he was quite the leader. Anyhow, her next hellish memory was right about when she began her training with that woman, Impa, and was caught... ah yes, wonderful nightmares to have if I do say so myself.

The Poe began to chant quietly, so as not to wake the princess lying before him, when suddenly his eyes turned a glowing white color, and the area around him seemed somewhat foggy. Soon after this, Zelda began tossing once more in her sleep, groans of agony and pain escaping her lips, as her body fought her bed, not knowing what to do in her now apparent nightmare. After finishing what seemed to be a spell, the Poe stared at her, grinning evilly. And so the torture continues...

Meanwhile with Link

"MFFT! MFFT! MFFFFFFFFFFFT!"

"Yeah, yeah Navi, I know... you want the tape off." Link replied to the frustrated fairy, who had been bobbing up and down in front of Link's face for twenty minutes trying to catch his attention and have him get the tape off her mouth. Link sighed. "That's just too damn bad, Navi... I really don't feel like hearing your voice right now. Actually, right now the only thing I want to do is grab Fluffy by the tail and beat the hell out of hi-" 

"SQUEE!" Fluffy yelled as he jumped onto Link's shoulder and bit him. The squirrel's eyes turned into a demonic red color and a sudden cold feeling climbed its way up Link's back. Foolish human... thinking you can even hope to harm me! Idiot! Moron! Just who do you think I am? Fluffy thought as he jumped off Link's now swollen shoulder and onto the ground once more.

Navi was staring at Link's shoulder, which was near the size of a small goron now, with pure fear. What kind of demonic squirrel IS Fluffy? Is he a demon? Is he even qualified to be a squirrel? Can he EAT me! Navi was finally shaken out of her reverie when Link passed a hand in front of Navi's face.

"Hellloooo..." Link said as he continued to wave his hand in front of the already conscious fairy. "Naaaviii...ARE YOU THE--OW!" Link yelled as Navi slapped him in the face for being such an oblivious moron. "What'd you do that for you puny fairy!" Link semi-yelled, since they were very close to Gerudo Valley -they had just passed the semi-gated area- and he didn't feel like dealing with a bunch of offended Gerudo chicks.

"Link you moron! Can you NOT see that I'm with you? Jeez... you really ARE oblivious to everything... idiot." Navi stated bluntly as she flew on ahead of Fluffy and Link, deciding she didn't want to stick around Hyrule's half-witted 'hero' or the demonic squirrel.

Link continued moving forward after giving a 'Hmph!' to Navi, who was already entering the Valley. Stupid, little fairy... if I wouldn't have been with her for the past seven years, she'd have been eaten by some random monster a LONG time ago... malagradecia... Link thought as he also began entering Gerudo Valley. Link grabbed his bag of rupees and sighed. 'Thanks to that good for nothing Fluffy, all I have are 200 rupees, when I left with 500! Ignorant little fool... I don't care if he IS a squirrel... he's LETHAL! Heheh... he'll be gone after my round of gambling is up...'

Fluffy wasn't far behind the fairy or Link, but he wasn't trying to catch up either. He decided he would go at his own pace and create another plan to take Link's rupees before they arrived at the gambling area. My mistresses wouldn't be very happy if Link had rupees to gamble with... now would they? Then again, I could just tell them he was robbed and keep the rupees for myself... but if they look inside my bandana...feh. No matter, I'll take the rupees and go to my tree quickly to store them... then my masters won't be able to find them... excellent. After thinking this, Fluffy found himself right behind Link, giving him the perfect opportunity to strike.

Link began walking across the narrow bridge (a/n: the one that's right next to the tiny waterfall) at the entrance of Gerudo Valley without taking note that Fluffy was right behind him. He ran across it as he usually did, but unfortunately for Link, there was a rather large at the end that he somehow didn't notice, and when arriving at it, he tripped and landed on the small fairy that was waiting patiently in the air, lost in thought.

"OWWWWW! DAMN YOU LINK! CAN'T YOU DO ANYTHING RIGHT? AUGH!" Navi yelled at Link, gasping for air afterwards. Navi's small body was trapped under Link's (in her opinion rather heavy) forearm, while her head stuck out the inner side of his elbow. "LINK YOU BIG OAF! GET OFF ALREADY!" Navi yelled after gulping in an ample supply of air, which she immediately repeated after yelling that last command.

Link had swirls in his eyes since his head hit the ground rather hard. He was completely unconscious to anything around him and, to Fluffy's delight, completely oblivious to any sound around him as well. Since Link was knocked out at the moment, Fluffy decided to seize the opportunity and rushed over to the rupee bag that was made, to his horror, of a squirrel's hide. _What a foul human this one is…I'll be glad to let the Gerudo girls have him to themselves…the dirty bastard of a fool. How dare he use a SQUIRREL'S hide no less as a rupee bag? HAS HE NO DIGNITY WHATSOEVER! _Fluffy questioned himself mentally as he untied the rupee bag from Link's belt and opened it greedily. After peering inside and making sure the 200 rupees were safely inside the bag, he tied it closed, ignored the cursing fairy who was begging-commanding him to let her free of Link's clutches, and ran off to his tree just outside the entrance to Gerudo Valley.

"COME BACK HERE YOU EVIL LITTLE SQUIRREL! IF YOU DON'T I SWEAR TO IT THAT I'LL MAKE LINK CUT YOUR LITTLE THROAT OFF AND STUFF IT UP YOU'RE A—" but Navi was unable to complete that sentence, due to the fact that a nearby Gerudo guard ran up to the unconscious Link, grabbed Navi's wings from beneath Link's arms rather roughly, walked to the edge of the cliff, and tossed her down the canyon. "Stupid fairy." the Gerudo said to herself as she ran back to Link's limp form. _Heh…all the girls will definitely more than happy to see him. Just wait till Sasha sees him…she'll go crazy._

Meanwhile with Zelda

Zelda had fallen into another nightmarish reality that had passed long ago. She was at the entrance to Lake Hylia, resting her weight on her knees as she pressed her hands over them and huffing as if undergoing rigorous training. She was wearing something of a tight blue and silver suit with the lens of truth imprint in pink on the chest area. She had been training for hours under the hot sun, sweating like she never had before, feeling pain and physical agony like none other. Her feet were on fire as well as her knees. She wiped her forehead with the back of her hand and moved her bangs out of her reddish pink eyes. "What do I…do now, Impa?" Zelda said as she took a breath in the middle of her sentence.

Impa stared at her through a stern gaze, her arms crossed at her chest. Impa's hair was now faded silver with streaks of white mixing in as well. There were a few wrinkles forming at the corner of Impa's eyes, which not only looked weary and tired, but also less alert than when they had left the castle three years before. She merely nodded her head in approval. "Fine work, Sheik. However, I am very displeased with your disappearing performances. I expect you to work on those." Impa said as she mounted her white horse and looked down at Zelda, then rode off.

Zelda stood there, stunned. What did she mean she was displeased with her disappearing performances? She had disappeared within two seconds time after throwing the deku nut. Zelda sighed, not knowing what to do. _Oh well…anyways…tonight's a full moon. _Zelda thought as she looked at the sky gleefully. _This means I can visit the Temple of Time tonight! Finally, _something _to look forward to! Better hurry and wash up… _the young girl though as she raced toward the lake, stripping herself of her clothes and diving in.

The water felt refreshing against her hot and tired body. Her muscles relaxed as she sunk deeper into the water, enjoying its feel more and more as the water finally reached her chin. "Mm…I wonder…where that boy is…the boy I threw the ocarina to. I wonder…if he ever got it." Zelda murmured to herself as she rose out of the water and grabbed her rag that she brought around with her to dry. _Did he ever get it? Did Ganondorf retrieve it instead? Is the boy even still alive? And why in the WORLD is Impa having me do all this training? She keeps telling me that I''ll find out when the time comes, but jeez…she'd think it got a little repetitive after three years… _Zelda thought as she redressed herself in a different set of clothing: a white blouse two sizes too big, white pants that were a little loose around the waist, and shoes that were much too big for Zelda. However, these were the clothes she had been able to obtain from a merchant passing through Hyrule, and were currently the only clothes that fit her besides the blue and silver suit, for everything she had packed three years prior had been outgrown far too quickly for Zelda's liking.

After stuffing her training clothes into a bag she had found near the entrance to Death Mountain one day (it appeared to be made from a Dodongo's stomach), she threw the short strap over her shoulder and began traveling towards the bridge between Kakariko Village and Hyrule Castle Town. _Heh...good thing I lived there a long time and was curious enough to wonder how Dad managed to get in when he came back so late at night sometimes… _Zelda thought happily as she reached the small bridge. "All right. Now…let's see which block it was now." Zelda said as she began feeling for a couple of choice bricks on the bottom of the bridge after leaning over carefully. Finally, she pushed in a brick, causing the gate where the river ran through to open, and a ticking sound was heard. _Better hurry then before one of those redeads find their way into that somehow…ugh._

And with that, Zelda dived into the ice-cold water, baggy clothes and all, and swam into the once small-gated entrance. After swimming inside, Zelda arrived in a shallow, smaller entrance to a sewer that she was all too familiar with. The sewer was, unfortunately for Zelda, infested with green and blue Bubbles, and they didn't look too welcoming. _You've got to be kidding me…not again! Ugh…these stupid Bubbles come every other full moon. Why is it that they come? Sigh…better finish them off before they notice I'm hear and report to that King of Scum. _ Zelda thought ruefully as she hid behind a small iron box, which held the operating controls from within, and retrieved her deku nuts. After gathering a total of about five, Zelda dashed out from behind the box, threw two of the nuts, which then released a blinding light that appeared to have stunned the Bubbles, who were completely oblivious to her presence. Zelda had her left hand stretched out, the same hand that held the imprint of the Triforce of Wisdom, while yelling something. _Domiscus Lumos! _The blonde yelled, which caused a pure white light to fill the room, being too pure for the Bubbles to handle, resulting in their deaths.

Zelda looked around at the now empty sewer type passage. She sighed in relief after confirming that no more monsters or creatures were looming around. "Well…" she began to herself, "that's definitely a load off." She then walked ahead, checking every once in a while after hearing sounds or clatters for any more enemies or foes. After about half an hour of walking, she finally made it to an exit. It was right below a caged opening, which she moved out of the way easily, thanks to her ruthless training that she had been going through every day for the past three years. Zelda's training involved running at least five miles within thirty minutes' time, swimming across Lake Hylia and back about twenty times, riding Impa's horse around Hyrule Field every day for one or two hours, which would help increase her knowledge of the land, and finally, completing whatever task Impa had specifically assigned for that day. All of this physical exercise and work obviously increased Zelda's strength immensely, which came in quite conveniently at the moment.

After lifting the bars of steel from the exit of the sewer, Zelda climbed out cautiously, looking about for enemies, expecting anything from a deku scrub to a Stalfos. After knowing for a fact that nothing was nearby, Zelda sprinted to the Temple of Time, which was about half a mile away from the sewer exit. Sweat trickled down her face, but she didn't care, even though she had just showered. Her heart thumped wildly while she sprinted; she did this, sprinting, for she already knew that soon, the redeads of Hyrule Castle Town, the ones that actually wandered, would be catching up to her if she didn't move swiftly enough.

Zelda arrived at the Temple through the backside. When she was inside the Temple grounds, she walked around the small area of stone that was once, in a more prosperous Hyrule, a small pond, and walked into the Temple of Time. She grabbed the bottom half of her shirt and wiped the sweat off her face, then looked up and realized what she hadn't the last time she had visited the Temple after hers and Impa's departure. There, on the small black stone altar at the foot of the steps inside the Temple, stood the three spiritual stone: the Kokiri Emerald, the Goron Ruby, and Zora's Sapphire.

"He…" Zelda whispered to herself. She was staring in awe at what was before her.


	10. Party Time

**Disclaimer: **Still not owning that lufflie lil' Zelda o' mine…

**.:.Chapter Ten: Party Time.:.**

Zelda woke up not too long after she went back to sleep, her peaceful sleep. She didn't have sweat trickling down her forehead, and she didn't feel excruciatingly hot, but she still woke up because of her newfound fear of sleeping. She stood up after wrapping her pink robe around herself and slipping on her pink sandals and walked out to her balcony. The princess stared past the gates of Hyrule, past Hyrule Town, and just gazed upon Hyrule field. She felt different, as if someone grabbed her heart and molded it into something totally and completely foreign to her.

The moonlight lit her calm, yet scared features, giving her an unearthly glow. Suddenly faint screaming processed into her ears and, unless she was imagining it, it sounded very much like Link_. No... I must still be half asleep. He's probably long gone into Gerudo Valley by now... and nothing can be heard there, what with those Gerudo girls screaming and dancing day in and day out now that they don't have anything to worry about..._

Zelda sighed as she walked back into her bedroom, still wondering about her nightmare, or recurring reality, better said. _Why did I have that dream? Why did it all of a sudden resurface like that without hints or anything? I haven't even thought about that day since the day of Hyrule's celebration. So why now? Why did I have that dream now of all times? And...the curious thing is... I saw what happened to Link after I rode out... or was that simply made up? Would he have really risked himself like that... just to protect my whereabouts? He was so young and... I don't understand...  
_  
Zelda shook her head softly, trying to shake all of her thoughts out with it, and lay back down. She began getting drowsy once more, and her eyes began getting heavy. Unfortunately for Zelda, the wind began picking up outside, causing her room to become too cold for her liking. She arose from her bed and closed the door to the balcony, but not before noticing something in her room.

"What... what is that?" Zelda asked herself quietly. She walked over to what looked like a ghastly figure, but she wasn't quite sure. _That looks very much like a Poe, but... what business would it have in my room? _ Zelda pondered about this until she was near enough to the ghastly image to speak to it. "Um... hello? Are you a Poe?" Zelda asked, half curious if it would answer, half hoping it would just leave so that she could go to sleep.

The ghost chuckled evilly. "Why yes, my fair princess, I am. Why do you ask? Does my presence bother you, Your Highness? Would you prefer it if I leave?" the ghost asked, its orange-yellow eyes piercing right through her. The Poe looked ordinary enough, but for some odd reason, Zelda felt a twinge of fear as it looked at her, as if she was supposed to be frightened by it.

"Yes... I would prefer it if you leave, thank you. But first, what business have you here in the first place, Poe?" Zelda questioned, trying to enforce her voice with confidence, but winced as her voice slightly quavered instead. _Damn it... why am I so afraid of this Poe? It usually only takes one or two arrows to kill it, so why do I fear it so much? As if it has caused me a sort of pain? I don't want to anger it; I have no reason to fight it, but... something about this ghost is unnerving. I just can't understand what...  
_  
The Poe's stare intensified, causing Zelda's insides to tighten in knots. He thought over the question a while longer, until he decided upon his answer. "Well, milady, a friend of yours has offended me, and in doing so, I'm merely being a good ghost and doing him a favor. If you ask me, he didn't take my... offer... seriously." the ghost smirked at the end of his statement, which apparently confused Zelda even more.

"A... friend? I haven't seen any friends in--" Zelda stopped in mid-sentence when her thoughts roamed around her head and eventually found their way to Link. "By a friend... do you mean Link?" Zelda asked, wondering what Link could've done to upset a Poe. _Knowing him he probably tried to kill it... and knowing him... he probably didn't succeed... ugh... I hate his archery skills... they suck.  
_  
The Poe once again just floated in silence, not particularly caring whether or not the princess had to wait. _Why does this wench continue to ask questions? I just want her to go back to sleep and then... my little 'favor' shall proceed._ The ghost looked up from his 'reverie' so to speak, and glared at Zelda, who looked paler than she usually did for some reason unknown to her. "By your friend, I simply mean a friend. Whether or not he is this 'Link' of which you speak, I do not know, for I didn't ask his name. I can only tell you that a departed soul such as I has yet to find peace and just wishes to fulfill the favors of they who are still alive, to... help make their lives easier." The Poe stared at Zelda, trying to convince her that he was being honest, and continued. "Why don't you go to sleep now, Princess? I'm sure you have many things to attend to in the morning, and it would be best if you took in appropriate sleep."

Zelda eyed him cautiously, wondering what she should do. She wasn't sure if she should trust the Poe or not, since most Poes she had come to meet weren't the friendliest... or the most honest... but this one was confusing. Though his words seemed fairly considerate, the way he stared at her, better said pierced right through her, unnerved every last one of Zelda's senses. However, Zelda's body didn't disagree with the ghost at all, and before Zelda could lift a finger in protest, she was soundly asleep on her bed, not the least bit conscious to her surroundings.

The Poe flew by her and stayed there, not moving an inch. _I guess I should continue my little game from where I left off. Now... where were we... ah yes, right after her escape and Link's so called 'daring' encounter with Ganon. Ah... Ganon... he was quite the leader. Anyhow, her next hellish memory was right about when she began her training with that woman, Impa, and was caught... ah yes, wonderful nightmares to have if I do say so myself._

The Poe began to chant quietly, so as not to wake the princess lying before him, when suddenly his eyes turned a glowing white color, and the area around him seemed somewhat foggy. Soon after this, Zelda began tossing once more in her sleep, groans of agony and pain escaping her lips, as her body fought her bed, not knowing what to do in her now apparent nightmare. After finishing what seemed to be a spell, the Poe stared at her, grinning evilly. _And so the torture continues...  
_  
Meanwhile with Link

"MFFT! MFFT! MFFFFFFFFFFFT!"

"Yeah, yeah Navi, I know... you want the tape off." Link replied to the frustrated fairy, who had been bobbing up and down in front of Link's face for twenty minutes trying to catch his attention and have him get the tape off her mouth. Link sighed. "That's just too damn bad, Navi... I really don't feel like hearing your voice right now. Actually, right now the only thing I want to do is grab Fluffy by the tail and beat the hell out of hi-"

"SQUEE!" Fluffy yelled as he jumped onto Link's shoulder and bit him. The squirrel's eyes turned into a demonic red color and a sudden cold feeling climbed its way up Link's back. 'Foolish human... thinking you can even hope to harm me! Idiot! Moron! Just who do you think I am?' Fluffy thought as he jumped off Link's now swollen shoulder and onto the ground once more.

Navi was staring at Link's shoulder, which was near the size of a small goron now, with pure fear. _What kind of demonic squirrel IS Fluffy? Is he a demon? Is he even qualified to be a squirrel? Can he EAT me!_ Navi was finally shaken out of her reverie when Link passed a hand in front of Navi's face.

"Hellloooo..." Link said as he continued to wave his hand in front of the already conscious fairy. "Naaaviii...ARE YOU THE--OW!" Link yelled as Navi slapped him in the face for being such an oblivious moron. "What'd you do that for you puny fairy!" Link semi-yelled, since they were very close to Gerudo Valley -they had just passed the semi-gated area- and he didn't feel like dealing with a bunch of offended Gerudo chicks.

"Link you moron! Can you NOT see that I'm with you? Jeez... you really ARE oblivious to everything... idiot." Navi stated bluntly as she flew on ahead of Fluffy and Link, deciding she didn't want to stick around Hyrule's half-witted 'hero' or the demonic squirrel.

Link continued moving forward after giving a 'Hmph!' to Navi, who was already entering the Valley. _Stupid, little fairy... if I wouldn't have been with her for the past seven years, she'd have been eaten by some random monster a LONG time ago... malagradecia..._ Link thought as he also began entering Gerudo Valley. Link grabbed his bag of rupees and sighed. _Thanks to that good for nothing Fluffy, all I have are 200 rupees, when I left with 500! Ignorant little fool... I don't care if he IS a squirrel... he's LETHAL! Heheh... he'll be gone after my round of gambling is up..._

Fluffy wasn't far behind the fairy or Link, but he wasn't trying to catch up either. He decided he would go at his own pace and create another plan to take Link's rupees before they arrived at the gambling area. _My mistresses wouldn't be very happy if Link had rupees to gamble with... now would they? Then again, I could just tell them he was robbed and keep the rupees for myself... but if they look inside my bandana...feh. No matter, I'll take the rupees and go to my tree quickly to store them... then my masters won't be able to find them... excellent. _ After thinking this, Fluffy found himself right behind Link, giving him the perfect opportunity to strike.

Link began walking across the narrow bridge (a/n: the one that's right next to the tiny waterfall) at the entrance of Gerudo Valley without taking note that Fluffy was right behind him. He ran across it as he usually did, but unfortunately for Link, there was a rather large rock at the end that he somehow didn't notice, and when arriving at it, he tripped and landed on the small fairy that was waiting patiently in the air, lost in thought.

"OWWWWW! DAMN YOU LINK! CAN'T YOU DO ANYTHING RIGHT? AUGH!" Navi yelled at Link, gasping for air afterwards. Navi's small body was trapped under Link's (in her opinion rather heavy) forearm, while her head stuck out the inner side of his elbow. "LINK YOU BIG OAF! GET OFF ALREADY!" Navi yelled after gulping in an ample supply of air, which she immediately repeated after yelling that last command.

Link had swirls in his eyes since his head hit the ground rather hard. He was completely unconscious to anything around him and, to Fluffy's delight, completely oblivious to any sound around him as well. Since Link was knocked out at the moment, Fluffy decided to seize the opportunity and rushed over to the rupee bag that was made, to his horror, of a squirrel's hide. _What a foul human this one is…I'll be glad to let the Gerudo girls have him to themselves…the dirty bastard of a fool. How dare he use a SQUIRREL'S hide no less as a rupee bag? HAS HE NO DIGNITY WHATSOEVER! _Fluffy questioned himself mentally as he untied the rupee bag from Link's belt and opened it greedily. After peering inside and making sure the 200 rupees were safely inside the bag, he tied it closed, ignored the cursing fairy who was begging-commanding him to let her free of Link's clutches, and ran off to his tree just outside the entrance to Gerudo Valley.

"COME BACK HERE YOU EVIL LITTLE SQUIRREL! IF YOU DON'T I SWEAR TO IT THAT I'LL MAKE LINK CUT YOUR LITTLE THROAT OFF AND STUFF IT UP YOUR A—" but Navi was unable to complete that sentence, due to the fact that a nearby Gerudo guard ran up to the unconscious Link, grabbed Navi's wings from beneath Link's arms rather roughly, walked to the edge of the cliff, and tossed her down the canyon. "Stupid fairy." the Gerudo said to herself as she ran back to Link's limp form. _Heh…all the girls will definitely more than happy to see him. Just wait till Sasha sees him…she'll go crazy._

Meanwhile with Zelda

Zelda had fallen into another nightmarish reality that had passed long ago. She was at the entrance to Lake Hylia, resting her weight on her knees as she pressed her hands over them and huffing as if undergoing rigorous training. She was wearing something of a tight blue and silver suit with the lens of truth imprint in pink on the chest area. She had been training for hours under the hot sun, sweating like she never had before, feeling pain and physical agony like none other. Her feet were on fire as well as her knees. She wiped her forehead with the back of her hand and moved her bangs out of her reddish pink eyes. "What do I…do now, Impa?" Zelda asked as she took a breath in the middle of her sentence.

Impa stared at her through a stern gaze, her arms crossed at her chest. Impa's hair was now faded silver with streaks of white mixing in as well. There were a few wrinkles forming at the corner of Impa's eyes, which not only looked weary and tired, but also less alert than when they had left the castle three years before. She merely nodded her head in approval. "Fine work, Sheik. However, I am very displeased with your disappearing performances. I expect you to work on those." Impa said as she mounted her white horse and looked down at Zelda, then rode off.

Zelda stood there, stunned. What did she mean she was displeased with her disappearing performances? She had disappeared within two seconds time after throwing the deku nut. Zelda sighed, not knowing what to do. _Oh well…anyways…tonight's a full moon. _Zelda thought as she looked at the sky gleefully. _This means I can visit the Temple of Time tonight! Finally, _something _to look forward to! Better hurry and wash up… _the young girl though as she raced toward the lake, stripping herself of her clothes and diving in.

The water felt refreshing against her hot and tired body. Her muscles relaxed as she sunk deeper into the water, enjoying its feel more and more as the water finally reached her chin. "Mm…I wonder…where that boy is…the boy I threw the ocarina to. I wonder…if he ever got it." Zelda murmured to herself as she rose out of the water and grabbed her rag that she brought around with her to dry. _Did he ever get it? Did Ganondorf retrieve it instead? Is the boy even still alive? And why in the WORLD is Impa having me do all this training? She keeps telling me that I'll find out when the time comes, but jeez…she'd think it got a little repetitive after three years… _Zelda thought as she redressed herself in a different set of clothing: a white blouse two sizes too big, white pants that were a little loose around the waist, and shoes that were much too big for Zelda. However, these were the clothes she had been able to obtain from a merchant passing through Hyrule, and were currently the only clothes that fit her besides the blue and silver suit, for everything she had packed three years prior had been outgrown far too quickly for Zelda's liking.

After stuffing her training clothes into a bag she had found near the entrance to Death Mountain one day (it appeared to be made from a Dodongo's stomach), she threw the short strap over her shoulder and began traveling towards the bridge between Kakariko Village and Hyrule Castle Town. _Heh...good thing I lived there a long time and was curious enough to wonder how Dad managed to get in when he came back so late at night sometimes… _Zelda thought happily as she reached the small bridge. "All right. Now…let's see which block it was now." Zelda said as she began feeling for a couple of choice bricks on the bottom of the bridge after leaning over carefully. Finally, she pushed in a brick, causing the gate where the river ran through to open, and a ticking sound was heard. _Better hurry then before one of those redeads find their way into that somehow…ugh._

And with that, Zelda dived into the ice-cold water, baggy clothes and all, and swam into the once small-gated entrance. After swimming inside, Zelda arrived in a shallow, smaller entrance to a sewer that she was all too familiar with. The sewer was, unfortunately for Zelda, infested with green and blue Bubbles, and they didn't look too welcoming. _You've got to be kidding me…not again! Ugh…these stupid Bubbles come every other full moon. Why is it that they come? Sigh…better finish them off before they notice I'm hear and report to that King of Scum. _ Zelda thought ruefully as she hid behind a small iron box, which held the operating controls from within, and retrieved her deku nuts. After gathering a total of about five, Zelda dashed out from behind the box, threw two of the nuts, which then released a blinding light that appeared to have stunned the Bubbles, who were completely oblivious to her presence. Zelda had her left hand stretched out, the same hand that held the imprint of the Triforce of Wisdom, while yelling something. _Domiscus Lumos! _The blonde yelled, which caused a pure white light to fill the room, being too pure for the Bubbles to handle, resulting in their deaths.

Zelda looked around at the now empty sewer type passage. She sighed in relief after confirming that no more monsters or creatures were looming around. "Well…" she began to herself, "that's definitely a load off." She then walked ahead, checking every once in a while after hearing sounds or clatters for any more enemies or foes. After about half an hour of walking, she finally made it to an exit. It was right below a caged opening, which she moved out of the way easily, thanks to her ruthless training that she had been going through every day for the past three years. Zelda's training involved running at least five miles within thirty minutes' time, swimming across Lake Hylia and back about twenty times, riding Impa's horse around Hyrule Field every day for one or two hours, which would help increase her knowledge of the land, and finally, completing whatever task Impa had specifically assigned for that day. All of this physical exercise and work obviously increased Zelda's strength immensely, which came in quite conveniently at the moment.

After lifting the bars of steel from the exit of the sewer, Zelda climbed out cautiously, looking about for enemies, expecting anything from a deku scrub to a Stalfos. After knowing for a fact that nothing was nearby, Zelda sprinted to the Temple of Time, which was about half a mile away from the sewer exit. Sweat trickled down her face, but she didn't care, even though she had just showered. Her heart thumped wildly while she sprinted; she did this, sprinting, for she already knew that soon, the redeads of Hyrule Castle Town, the ones that actually wandered, would be catching up to her if she didn't move swiftly enough.

Zelda arrived at the Temple through the backside. When she was inside the Temple grounds, she walked around the small area of stone that was once, in a more prosperous Hyrule, a small pond, and walked into the Temple of Time. She grabbed the bottom half of her shirt and wiped the sweat off her face, then looked up and realized what she hadn't the last time she had visited the Temple after hers and Impa's departure. There, on the small black stone altar at the foot of the steps inside the Temple, stood the three spiritual stones: the Kokiri Emerald, the Goron Ruby, and Zora's Sapphire.

"He…" Zelda whispered to herself. She was staring in awe at what was before her. She walked closer to it, barely breathing due to her transfixion on the three stones. After she walked near enough to the altar to look down upon the stones, tears began falling gently down her face. "He…he collected all the stones…just like he said he would." She breathed, merely murmuring to herself. More crystal tears flowed silently downwards, falling to the ground at her feet. _I can't believe it. I can't believe Link kept his promise to me…wait…did I just remember his name? Wow…all three stones. Wait…if he DID collect all three stones; that must mean he was able to find my ocarina, which means… which means he's still alive, but…where? _

Zelda wiped her tears away, the joy of knowing that her mysterious childhood friend was still alive now forgotten, and the worry of his whereabouts replacing them. Where was Link? What became of him? After Zelda dried off all her tears, she realized what was about he most obvious thing one could've noticed when first walking into the Temple, which she overlooked. As her gaze rose to see the entrance to the Sacred Realm open, she heard yelling outside…she heard the voice of the man that killed her father. _Now what the HECK is HE doing here? I for one didn't know that demons went to temples…especially not this one. Ugh…I should get going before he catches me...but what is that light? It's so…calming. _

Before Zelda could stop herself, she was standing right in front of the bright blue light, which was shaped into a cylinder, and peered inside, fearful of touching it. What she saw left her frozen on the spot. "Oh goddesses…is…is that…LINK!" Zelda questioned rather loudly. Much to her dismay, whoever was patrolling or standing guard outside apparently knew that she, or at least someone, was inside the Temple. Zelda highly suspected that the person outside was Ganon. But why he was outside the Temple at this hour of the night was befuddling to her. "Guess I'd better be on my way…" Zelda whispered to herself. She looked longingly at the tube of blue light before her, wishing that Link could somehow come out and help with the disasters that were now taking place in Hyrule. She sighed sadly, knowing for a full fact that that couldn't be, and began chanting a little spell she picked up in order to exit through one of the Temple's windows, so as not to avoid Ganon.

_Et cum vobiscum. Nostre patris filius. _The princess repeated many times, until a bright pink light enveloped the blonde, quickly lifting her from the ground, but progressing to the window slowly. Unfortunately for Zelda, this process went a tad bit too slowly for her, which in turn allowed enough time to pass for Ganon to enter the Temple and see what was taking place. He stood there, unmoving, not quite sure if what he saw before him was a witch of some kind or the Princess Zelda, whom he had been searching for, dressed in pitiful oversized rags and chanting a spell.

"Well, well, well…we meet again my lovely princess." Gann said mockingly, waving his right hand nonchalantly in the air, stopping any and all of Zelda's progression up to the window, causing her to land harshly, flat out and back first, into the hard marble floor. "I see that you've grown quite a bit since we last met. Please, do tell me, how have you been, Zelda?" Ganon smirked arrogantly, approaching Zelda so quickly, that in a matter of seconds he was kneeling right next to her outstretched form, which was still on the floor.

"Ugh…" Zelda moaned as she rubbed her temple slowly and sat up, slightly brushing Ganon's knee. The teenage girl gasped quickly, barely noticing that he was so close to her. This action caused Ganon to chuckle evilly, which in turn made goose bumps crawl and cover her arms. Before anything else transpired, Zelda felt her neck arch backwards and her hair being pulled down straight into the ground, which resulted in her head crashing into the marble.

Ganon's right hand had grabbed hold of her hair, and then pulled back as quickly as possible; his rage and frustration taking over and his voice turning more menacing than Zelda had ever heard before. "Listen here wench…" Ganon began in a threatening tone, staring down into Zelda's blue-violet eyes (a/n: as opposed to the pink ones she had when she was Sheik ) with his own brown-hazel ones, "…tell me where that blasted Impa is hiding, or I'll take your Triforce shard now without hesitation." He finished, leaving Zelda speechless.

Zelda didn't answer for many long, silent minutes, rewarding her with a powerful strike to the back of her head from Ganon, causing her to wince in sheer, hot pain. "TELL ME NOW DAMMIT!" Ganon roared, his echoes reverberating throughout the Temple. Tears formed in Zelda's eyes as the pain in her head increased and her eyesight blurred. _No…I can't tell him. I can't let him know where Impa is, though why he wants to know is still a mystery to me. My head…he doesn't plan on killing her, does he! _ Zelda became frantic, fearing that somehow, Ganon could read her mind and find out impa's whereabouts through her, but of course he didn't. He merely sighed loudly in frustration, grabbed Zelda's hair once more (for he had let go of it to hit her) and jerked her head backwards, causing Zelda's head to once again meet harshly with a loud thud.

"You foolish imbecile! Tell me the damn location now, or I'll be forced to pursue harsh treatment with you, and I don't have time to play games!" Ganon yelled, frustration building within him after every passing second. Silence followed, angering the Evil King more than he was willing to show. Finally, his patience wore out, and he raised his hand in attempts to smack Zelda across the face, in hopes of intimidating her enough to make her speak.

What happened next was completely unexpected for Ganon, who was thrown across the room, landing on the opposite side of the Temple.

A bright blue light had filled the room, distracting Ganon enough for him to put his hand back down. Zelda looked up from her glare to the floor just to see what was happening. What met her gaze startled her enough to make her gasp.

The blue cylinder that surrounded the fourteen-year-old Link glowed an unearthly glow. Its blue light, now mixed with swirls of white and bright green, shown throughout the entire Temple, and wrapping itself around Ganon, who was now as confused as can be. The greenish white light wrapped itself around Ganon's body, and threw him to the other side of the room, while the crystal blue light wrapped itself around Zelda, healing all her injuries and bruises inflicted by Ganon.

After healing Zelda, the bright light disappeared, around both Zelda and Ganon. Ganon, thinking the princess had called upon the Sages or Link for help, was enraged beyond belief, and swore right then and there that he would kill the princess no matter what it took.

"YOU IMPUDENT WENCH! HOW _DARE _YOU!" Ganon bellowed, causing the entire Temple to slightly shake due to the extremity of his yell.

Zelda rose from the ground, shaking slightly, but not because of fear or pain, for there was no pain, but because of shock and surprise. For a moment, during the healing from the light, she thought she had heard Link tell her "It'll be all right…I'll protect you", but of course that must've been her imagination. She shook her head lightly, then faced the unbelievably angry Ganon who was ready to bulrush her.

"What?" was all that escaped the princess's lips as she stared at Ganon with a stony glare. She stood firmly on her ground ready to attack if the need arise.

Ganon glared at Zelda so menacingly that shivers and chills went up her spine, though she didn't show it. "How _dare_ you call upon them? The sages? Or were you just too afraid to fight me alone?" Ganon smirked at his last question. He stared at Zelda with such intensity; it pierced right through her soul, down to her very core. "Pathetic." He spat.

Apparently, that struck a nerve, and before Zelda could control herself, she found her way to Ganon, ready to thrash at him with everything she had. All the anger she had maintained within herself lashed out, beckoning to her body to harm him in any way she possibly could. Zelda's volley blue eyes became pink and she had transformed into a very angry and tireless fighter.

"DIE YOU WICKED BEING!" She roared into Ganon's ear after whipping a hand around his neck, attempting to choke him, and her nails on her spare hand digging into his flesh. The only response she gained was Ganon's evil laugh, which shocked Zelda completely.

"Wha…what is WRONG with you!" Zelda shrieked, loosening her grip on Ganon. She backed away from him, suddenly realizing that he must've been much stronger than she to laugh in such a situation. She backed away to the other side of the Temple, still hearing Ganon's laughter ringing in her ears, mocking her as though her attempts in harming him were that of a small child.

"MWUA HAHAHAHA! You foolish child!" Ganon laughed, glaring daggers into Zelda's very soul. "Did you _really _believe that I am so weak as if to permit an imbecile like _you _defeat me! What insolence!" Ganon exclaimed, approaching Zelda rather quickly. "Because of your naïveté, I'll kill you this very instant." With that, Ganon simply waved his right hand in the air, which was then beginning to glow an ominous shade of purple, from which a blast of black energy came forth, burning bits and pieces of Zelda's clothing to ashes.

Leaving the young girl's left shoulder and parts of her stomach and thighs exposed, the black glow didn't waver, and burnt into Zelda's flesh deeply enough to cause blood to gush out. The princess didn't shriek or cry, nor allowed the tears that threatened violently to thrust themselves out from her eyes, flow down. Instead, she bit her lower lip and shut her eyes tightly, in order to prevent the painful black light form burning them.

_Goddesses…_ Zelda thought as the black light engulfed her small frame, burning through her clothes and searing her skin. _How can I get myself out of here! _Moments after thinking this, Zelda felt an alien power surging through her, beckoning her to just stretch out her arms and blast it with all her being. _What…what _is _this? What kind of power is this and how did I obtain it? _Zelda pondered, but only momentarily, as she felt the blazing hot pain seeping through her veins. _Well, I don't have much to lose so…here goes nothing!_

The Princess Zelda stretched her blood and pained arms straight out, hoping that whatevernewfound strength the goddesses had bestowed upon her would prove effective. As if her prayer was heard, a pink crystal surrounded Zelda's body and deflected the black glow, repelling its power and bouncing off its power in every direction. The pink crystal began rotating, and small crystals began forming themselves along the crystal's middle, followed by the consumption of the black glow, through the tiny crystals, given that the crystal had ceased deflecting the black light. The black power was completely sucked inside the pink crystals, and was kept locked in there for quite some time.

"What…in all the hells do you think you are DOING! FOOLISH WENCH! How _DARE_ you try to intercept my strength! DAMN YOU TO HELL YOU INSOLENT SON OF A BI---"

The black light that had, only minutes ago, been giving Zelda extreme physical agony shot out full force from the tiny crystals within the larger crystal enveloping Zelda and blasted Ganon threefold. The black light had become pure white while being held within the crystals, which was far too pure for Ganon's evil demeanor to bear. This caused Ganon to scream in sheer pain, became the root reason for the release of curses of all kinds to escape Ganon's foul mouth, and bought the necessary time for Zelda to escape.

Zelda brought herself up from the ground and sprinted out the Temple of Time, the pure white light grieving Ganon with excruciating pain still enveloping his body, and not showing any signs of reducing in strength. _Thank the goddesses…I've barely made it out with my life. _Zelda thought as she ran through the entrance of the Temple, leaving a bloody trail behind her. This was not, however, before hearing Ganon's painfully loud yell echo in her ears. Ganon could barely think clearly, but he was certain he'd heard Zelda running out of the Temple. With the last of his strength that still remained within him, Ganon managed to bellow his final threat for many years to come, "CURSE YOU ZELDA! I'LL SEE IT TO IT THAT YOUR BELOVED IMPA MEETS HER MAKER BEFORE SUNRISE!"

Zelda woke drenched in ice cold sweat yet feeling hot enough to melt the coldest glaciers or snow. Her heart was hammering in her chest and felt as though it would burst at any given moment. The feeling of her flesh burning lingered throughout Zelda's body, antagonizing her already flustered trail of thought. The only thing that actually scared Zelda to no end, however, was Ganon's howl ringing in her ears and causing her very core to tremble in fear. _Why does my mind choose to remember this? Why can't I just let the past stay there? Does my mind _want _me to have a heart attack and cower in fear at the sound of a dead man's voice…?_

Back with Link

"Nngh…that's right Zelda…yes please…that feels so damn good Zellie…mm…"

Link head lolled to the side as he continued mumbling about what one could only assume was his fantasy…or one of them anyways. The Gerudo women were crowded around him, watching his every move; hearing his every word. To put it simply, they were mesmerized by him, his stupidity, his carelessness, his denseness, everything.

After a few moments, Link opened his eyes to find the Gerudo women standing around him, surveying him. He shook his head for a bit and shut his eyes tight, hoping to see Zelda when he reopened them. _This can't be! She was right there! NOOOO!_

When Link opened his eyes once more, he was greatly disappointed, but…something was amiss. Why did he feel so…cold? Link looked down, and saw that he was in nothing but his…TIGHTS? When did THIS happen? He tried moving his arms and legs, but realized that they were tied to something…something that felt a lot like wood. When did this happen? When did he fall asleep? Link couldn't remember a thing, and wasn't even sure if he really wanted to.

"Oh hello, Liiiiink…how do you feel?" One of the Gerudo girls said in a seductive tone…too seductive to make Link feel any safer.

"Um…when did I get here! Why am I only in my freakin' TIGHTS? Where's Zelda! And how the hell did I get here? Where are my clothes? Why am I tied up? ANSWER ME DAMMIT!" Link questioned all in one breath. He began panicking. Where in all the goddesses' names was he!

A small ball of light emerged from a bundle of…something…nearby. It glowed an extremely strange red hue and emanated a horrible aura. It was about twenty or so feet away from Link, who had started watching it in hopes that it was Navi. The small red ball was under what _looked _like a hat, but one couldn't be sure, because it had tears and rips all over the place. The tears looked as if made by small teeth, but apparently they were extremely sharp ones. What had attacked that hat!

"Ooooh Link…I didn't know you were so…gifted." One Gerudo girl commented while eyeing an area just a small bit below his waist. She moved herself closer to him and placed her arms on his chest. "Wow…and you're soooo muscular…"

This, if nothing else, made Link panic. "Um…h-hey…wasn't this a gamble we were supposed to do tonight? Not err…strip poker! PLEASE?"

"But Link, this IS gambling! You didn't have any money, so took the liberty of gambling with your clothes!" the same girl reasoned.

Link swallowed…hard. How was he supposed to get out of this! "B-but you see, um…I HAVE LEPROSY!"

Instinctively, the Gerudo backed away, but stopped doing so when she looked him over again. "But Link, sweetie, I don't see any leprosy on you!" She said as she began walking back towards Link.

Link's eyes grew wide, and he slapped himself mentally at his stupidity, despite the fact he thought he could still pull this off. I mean…they're Gerudos so…what could they possibly know about leprosy? "Well…you see…I have a strange case of leprosy! Um…I have the kind you can't see because um…I'm…I'M NOT REALLY HYLIAN!" Link yelled out, hoping this would help convince his crowd of what he was saying, though he was making this up as he went.

During all the while, the red ball of light was getting closer and closer to Link, the deformed hat still on it. Whether or not it was Navi, one couldn't be sure. This red was extremely…ominous. Never seen by man, and it gave off a feeling bad enough to make Ganon himself scream like a little school girl. What exactly happened that caused this strange color to form in the first place?

The Gerudo women gathered closer around Link, though they made sure not to touch him, in case his leprosy was, in fact, real. One Gerudo name Sasha, the same one who had knocked Link out in the first place, spoke first. "Wh-what do you mean you're not…Hylian!"

Link paused for a second, not really knowing what he was going to say. "I'm…uh…SPANISH! That's right! I'm SPANISH! VIVA…um…ESPAÑA!" Link shouted, remembering his sudden ability to speak Spanish from not too long ago.

The Gerudo women were shocked. Link…_their _Link…was…was Spanish! How could that BE! Within minutes, the women backed away, eyes wide and mouths open, leaving Link rather confused.

"Um…hey…can any of you untie me?" Link asked almost pleadingly.

The Gerudos looked amongst themselves, all obviously displeased with this new 'Link'. "Well," one started, eyeing him cautiously, though inwardly wishing she could…eh…better not get into details. "Why can't you do it yourself, Link? Or should I say, Leenk?" The woman had tried to pronounce 'Link' in Spanish a little too hard, it seemed.

The Hylian sighed.

During all this, the red glowing ball of doom loomed closer to Link, and when he finally caught sight of Navi, or the hat or just…the err...--it—he screamed in terror.

Yup, this was going to be a looooong night for our hero. Painful? Most definitely.


	11. Sweet Salvation

**. Eleven: Sweet Salvation.:.**

The scream Link mustered could have been heard throughout all of Hyrule, and it most probably was. The glowing red ball was practically facing Link, or so the young hero assumed. Sadly for him, he could already feel waves of evil radiating off the fairy, or at least, what Link hoped to be a fairy. Finally, it moved up to his face, neared it, and…

"AAAAHHHH!!! WHAT ARE YO—OW!! WHAT WAS THAT FO—DEAR GODDESSES! PLEASE HEAR MY PRAYERS! I REPENT FROM ALL MY SIN---IS THIS SOME KIND OF SICK JOKE? WHYYYY?" screamed our poor, defenseless hero.

After about ten more minutes of such screaming, the ball of red flames moved away from Link's face, leaving nothing but a gory, blood-covered mound of flesh in its wake. After about five minutes, the glowing red ball of a seemingly evil doom returned to its original shade of blue.

The Gerudo women had long since backed off, not wanting to upset the fairy in any way, having had already witnessed Link's punishment for whatever it was he had done. One of them, however, neared the injured hero and, without a moment of hesitation, quickly cut the ropes that kept poor Link in place. Quickly enough, he fell to the ground with a rather profound "Umph" and picked himself up slowly.

Rising in nothing but his tights and the last strands of whatever dignity he possessed, Link nearly burst into tears. How did he even manage to get into this situation? The logic seemed impossible to understand. "Uhh… well, in any case, ladies, I'm gonna go and… you know, head off and probably save Zelda or something. Yeah… see ya!"

Quickly and efficiently (or in absolute cowardice– one just couldn't be sure), Link dressed in his red tunic, picked up the Master Sword from the ground (where the Gerudo women probably threw it in their haste to strip Link) and sped off faster than any creature in Hyrule could have at that very moment.

Navi, having watched Link run off in terror, leisurely flew behind him, knowing he was going to end up in Hyrule Castle– or more specifically, Zelda's room– soon enough. Looking back before she left, the fairy shouted, "Well, good luck getting a guy! You guys never had a chance with Link, anyway. He's been after Zelda since they were twelve. Tough, huh?"

**±With Zelda±**

For the first time in what seemed like ages, Zelda slept a peaceful slumber.

Or at least, she did up until Link barged into her room screaming as though he were being burnt to a crisp.

Blatantly startled, Zelda woke from her sleep, speedily rubbing the sleep out of her eyes and giving a rather long yawn. "Link… what are you doing here screaming?"

Arriving at her feet, at the end of her bed, Link grabbed the princess' ankles, clinging to them tightly. "Zelda, what have I done to deserve such harassment from those Gerudo women? Nothing! Nothing I tell you! And yet look! My green tunic– my _favorite_ tunic – was stolen by those desert women, along with my boots!" After saying this, he wiggled his toes responsively, as though signifying their lack of some kind of shoe. "Please, my beloved Zelda, HELP ME!"

Zelda stared dumbfounded, not really sure of what she should tell the legendary 'Hero of Time', even though said-hero was profusely idiotic. Rubbing her temples in aggravation, Zelda sighed exasperatedly, wondering what, exactly, was she going to do with Link. "Listen, I don't really have time to deal with your problems right now, seeing as I already have a few of my own. I don't know what happened with you and the Gerudo women, but I, quite honestly, _don't give a damn. _So do me a favor and make yourself disappear as I deal with my dilemmas. Afterwards, I'll come back to you, all right?" And with that, she plopped right back down in her bed, trying her very best to go back to her restful slumber.

Mulling over her words, Link just sat there, staring at the princess. Watching her fidget slightly in her sleep, it finally clicked with him how tired she must have been… but why? Did it have something to do with that problem she mentioned? _'I wonder what it is…'_

After a little while, her breathing grew even, and he realized she had slipped into peaceful sleep. Rising to his feet, he quickly moved to turn around, when he suddenly got an eerie feeling that he was being watched.

Navi was behind him and ran abruptly into his back when he stopped. "Uh, Link? GET A MOVE ON! The longer I have to stay in this room, the more disgusting I feel. Now let's GO!" She pushed against him with all her might, but he didn't budge. She growled. "Link… I swear to all the goddesses that if you don't move–"

"Hey, Navi, are you getting the weird feeling that something's watching us?"

"GAH! NO, Link, I'm not. Now can you MOVE?" she cried, obviously annoyed. Whacking him once across the head as she flew around him, Navi huffed. "See if I stick around!"

"No, wait, NAVI!" he lunged forward and grabbed her by the wings. "Don't go! It'll… it'll eat me!"

Turning a disgusted stare to the supposed "Hero of Time", Navi spoke. "Link, can I ask you something?"

"Sure, Navi, what?"

"You're an idiot. Now let's go." She began to move again. He stopped her.

"Navi?"

"Yeah?"

"That wasn't a question!"

There was a pause during which Navi sighed with an indescribable amount of frustration. Then, finally, she gasped in mock shock and made a squealing sound. "Wow, Link! You actually NOTICED! Congratulations! I'm SO proud of you!"

Silence.

"Are you being sarcastic?"

"GRAH! Link, that's NOT the point! Just MOVE, will you? I'm SICK and TIRED of being in this stupid place!" Navi pointed out, her bluish glow turning into an acid green color.

To Navi's immense gratification, Link began to move. As he was about to open the door to leave, he turned and, upon seeing a pair of evil-looking pair of bright orange eyes, he screamed.

"AAAAHHHH––"

–**SLAP– **Navi didn't even give the warning. "Will you just SHUT UP? Goddesses, you're such a wimp! How you beat Ganon is beyond me…" she muttered, sincerely wondering whether or not Link had a twin brother or something.

An evil cackle quickly shut Navi up, however, and she looked around her, wondering where it came from.

"Bwuahahaha! You fools! You cannot defeat me now! I have already entered the seemingly peaceful mind of your precious Zelda, and soon, I will devour her soul and make it my own!" The source of the voice came out of the shadows, revealing an ordinary looking Poe cackling gratingly into the darkness.

Navi gaped. Link made a small whimpering sound. For that, he was promptly smacked.

"What? Don't you two fear me? I have terribly villainous powers the likes of which neither of you can possibly comprehend! And soon, you will witness my awesome strength!" he maintained, eyes dancing with wicked glee.

Navi sputtered. "Wha– _excuse me?!_ There is nothing – and I mean _nothing _– that I can't comprehend, you nasty, undead, good-for-nothing oaf!" Her voice was shrill, and Zelda stirred slightly in her sleep.

"Oh, ho ho!" the Poe responded, the smallest chuckle escaping him. "Did I strike a nerve? And what's the little fairy going to do? Sprinkle me with magical fairy dust?" he scoffed, leaving no doubt in Navi's mind that he was just _begging_ for an ass whooping.

Navi remained silent, but her glow darkened in color, her emotions conveying themselves very clearly to Link. He gulped, hoping that Navi knew who her friends were, in this case, him…

"Uhh.. you know, maybe it's not my place to say this, but Poe," Link hedged, a concerned crease marring his brow as a light sweat broke over him, "you probably shouldn't have said that."

The Poe sneered, the shocking orange slits that were his eyes narrowing the slightest bit. "Are you implying that I should fear _her?_ That nothing of a fairy? She can't even restore my health! She's completely and utterly _useless!"_

That did it.

The looming red ball that was Navi edged slowly towards the Poe, providing him enough time to escape, if he so wished. Too distracted to notice the impending ball of doom nearing him, however, the Poe continued cackling, oblivious to his more-than-imminent demise.

"I will _cut_ you, you lousy, pussy-faced son of a haprie!"

The Poe stopped cackling, finally realizing the hellish fairy that was fast-approaching. "Wh-what?"

Rather than give him an answer, Navi went on to her 'punishment' (that is, of course, undermining that which was actually taking place), prompting a loud string of seemingly pained expletives from the Poe. She was done within moments, returning to her serene state of blue without a trace of malice to be found.

Sputtering and coughing as he attempted to speak, the Poe lifted his scrawny hand, tears coursing down his glowing orange eyes. "I'm… so sorry… I… will never… do it again…" With that, he collapsed.

Navi sighed. "Alllll righty then, Link! What do you say to tying up this Poe and dumping him out by the Gerudo's hangout?"

Link, terrified of three-inch fairy floating before him, would have probably said yes to just about anything she requested at that moment, his own face still stinging from the beating she gave him at the Gerudo's camp. To show his agreement, he gave a curt nod, beads of sweat rolling down his petrified face.

The fairy smiled and, without a moment's hesitation, began leading the way out. Link sighed in return, making quick work of tying up the Poe while he still remained in his physical form and dragged him, stealing one last glance at Zelda before he left. The vision of her peaceful slumber turned the corners of his lips in a smile, and he shook his head, understanding nothing about their relationship but thankful for it all the same. _'Sleep well, my princess…'_

**±The Next Morning±**

"And you'll never do it again, correct?"

The Poe shook his head, giving his grudging consent as he covered a still slightly bleeding wound on his face.

Link smiled, resting both of his hands on his hips. "Well, it's settled then! You stay out here and do what you will to the Gerudo girls _so long _as you don't steal their souls–" At this, the Poe sighed. "–_and_ you'll never bother Hyrule Castle ever again, so long as you live. Do you swear it?"

.

Once again, the Poe nodded with a mumbled, "I swear it."

"Excellent! Because if you were to do so, I'd have to hunt you down and kill you myself! Hahahaha!" Navi rolled her eyes at Link's feigned heroism, knowing the truth behind the matter. _'Freaking pussy…'_

"Then all is agreed. Now I'll be off to Hyrule Castle to tend to my beloved Zelda, striving once again to obtain her elusive affections! Adiosas, señor Poe!" With that, he called Epona on the ocarina (who, like always, appeared out of thin air without a spec of logic to explain the phenomena), and rode off, Navi in tow.

The Poe sighed, looking around at the wasteland surrounding him. After deciding the land was less than exceptional, he shooked his head, closing his eyes as he tilted his head back. _'Fuck my life…'_

**±In Hyrule Castle±**

Zelda arose with a happy yawn, stretching her arms out as she reveled in the warm sunlight streaming into her room. She looked outside, cherishing the feeling of her body being well-rested for the first time in a long time. _'It's so peaceful…'_

"ZELDA! MY BELOVED ZELDA! I SAVED YOU"

She sighed. _'Yeah, I figured that wouldn't last…' _She looked to the handsome man beside her, amazed for the umpteenth time at how simple he sometimes was. "What now, Link?"

He stopped to catch his breath, the combination of running up something like ten flights of stairs coupled with the run from the gate to the castle itself getting the better of him. When finally he was able to speak, he did so, much to Zelda's dismay. "As I said, I saved you, Zelda!"

An indelicate snort escaped the fairy beside him. _'Yeah right!'_

Zelda arched one eyebrow at him, her quizzical sapphire eyes piercing right through him, leaving him breathless all over again. "Oh really? From what?"

Quickly regainig his composure, Link cleared his throat, a faint blush tinging his cheeks pink. "U-uh… that is, from a Poe! Yeah, a Poe that was acting like a total creeper in your room! He was controlling your dreams or something so he could suck your soul out."

Silence met his ears.

"O-of course, that was what _he_ said last night. I mean, his whole story sounded pretty sketch to me, but well…I just– I…"

And suddenly, the most outrageous, ludicrous, exciting thought occurred to Zelda– something she quite possible would have abhorred some days prior but seemed all the more appealing to her then. She wanted to kiss Link.

"Okay, Link, okay. I believe you, don't worry," she commented, bringing all eyes on her, including those of a stunned-speechless, gaping fairy.

"You _what?" _Link cried, unmasked joy filling his blue eyes.

Zelda smiled. "I said I believe you. The problem I mentioned last night was one in which I hadn't been able to sleep due to extremely troubling nightmares that had been plaguing me for some time… so, thank you– and I mean it."

Link was glued to the ground, unable to process coherent thought.

"Now, I know this sounds crazy, buuuut… I realized something over the course of the time I had these nightmares." She looked at him steadily, making certain he knew she was being honest. "I realized that I care about you, Link, despite your frequent idiocies and lack of intelligent thought. So how's about we get married and call it a day?"

"Wait… what?"

Her answer was a kiss, the sealing of her lips upon his– a feeling so complete and _real_ that he couldn't help but respond. He wrapped his arms around her, unbelieving of what was happening but loving it all the same. He didn't want to think (not that he did that anyway, but whatever…) about what was happening– instead, he just took it like it was, and if it was a dream, then _damn_ was it good.

Navi watched in horror, her aura turning a sickly, pale yellow as she made gagging sounds in response. "I think… I think I'm going to throw up."

Zelda and Link finally parted, a rosy pink blush staining both of their faces. The princess was the first to speak.

"Well… that was…"

"Invigorating?"

"No."

"Indescribable?"

"No, it's very much describable. I just can't seem to find the right wo– ah! Inexperienced!"

Link looked aghast, feeling himself cracking to bits. "But... but…"

Zelda giggled in response, a happy sigh escaping her. "It's okay, Link. I'm still going to marry you, so don't worry. I'm probably off my rocker and everything, and I probably need some heavy dosage of medication to get me out of this, but–"

A worried look encompassed Link's features, and he grabbed her hand, dragging her out of her room. "Noooo, ma'm! You most definitely DO NOT need medication, and we are getting married _now _before you decide to go get some! You hear me? No meds!"

"We're goiing to get married now?"

"Yes!"

Zelda smiled, shaking her head as she realized how dull life would be without her floundering hero to accompany it. _'I wonder when he'll realize our church is under construction…'_

And with that thought, they were gone.

_Fin!_

**Author's Note: **…Uh… so umm.. yeah. About my being gone for like, four years or something like that.. I uhh… yeah. I'm not sure what to say. Sorry for the crappy story though, guys! I started this before I knew how to write, but it's hard to write this now because the styles are just so different, sooo that's that. I will write another Zelda fanfiction one day (a much better one with, you know, a plot and everything), but for right now, I've got to go work on my InuYasha fanfiction (which, might I add, is notably better!) so yeah. I apologize again, and for those who read this, I'm really, _really _sorry!

Peace out.

.91.:.


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